Thanks for sharing this with us Phil.
I guess I really needed to hear it.
Virgie and lady hoshi
----- Original Message -----
From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, May 06, 2007 7:14 PM
Subject: Good News
> Last night, after midnight, as I said earlier, I was still up praying and
> listening to tapes and trying to find the answer I needed to continue in
> the
> ministry. Nothing was working. Not even my prayers of threatening and
> complaints to God. He's not afraid of me or you so He understands
> regardless of how you pray even out of total frustration. Anyhow, I flip
> the radio on for the 100th time, it seemed like, tuned all the Christian
> stations, and found nothing. This time, however, I flipped the radio on
> and
> the first sentence I heard was a man saying, God has not called us to
> successfulness, just to faithfulness. He wasn't even preaching. He was
> just responding to something his guest had just said which I hadn't heard.
> My mind sprang back nearly 5 years ago when I was sitting in a man's
> office
> for my first prayer session. The anxiety and panic attacks had
> commandeered
> my days and the demonic voices in my thoughts kept me awake, at first, for
> 4
> nights and five days trying to get me to kill myself, renounce God, and a
> whole lot of other things. When I did drift off to sleep, they awakened
> me
> by shouting so loudly in my head, I would literally almost jump out of
> bed.
> The nightmares were worse. As I sat there in this office, I knew God
> wouldn't do anything. The man asked me what I was feeling at that very
> moment. I said, "I feel like a failure." He prayed. I heard the Lord's
> voice clearly say, "I never asked you to be successful." I was stunned.
> What? I thought even being in the ministry was all about successfulness.
> Right? I've never tried from that day until now to be successful so that
> one phrase in the middle of the night, confirmed Jesus was still around
> and
> hadn't forgotten who I was.
>
> Phil.
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