Dear Mari, Doris and all,

First, Doris, you wrote well and I so appreciated your post.  Thanks for 
sharing, my sister.

Mari, I know your frustrations and am praying for you.  Just remember, who 
we are now is to be revealed at His coming, but we will grow to be more and 
more like Him (as we see Him as He is).  In short, 1 John says it much 
better than I can:

Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet 
been made known.  But we know that when He appears, we shall be like Him, 
for we shall see Him as He is."  (1 John 3 2-3 New Living Translation).

We just need to hold on to His truth!

--
Carol - Reading, UK

To you, o Lord, I lift up my soul;
In You I trust, o my God.  . . .."  PS25:1-2 NIV.


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "MariJean" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, June 04, 2007 3:19 AM
Subject: Re: Questions To Ponder


> Hi Doris.  That was absolutely beautiful and well-crafted and well thought 
> out.  I loved it!!
>
> You said so many things which directly apply to me, but I cannot write 
> through my anger and disquiet at present, so thank you for doing this for 
> me.  I mean this from the bottom of my heart.
>
> Since my single-mindedness, I still don't really know who I am yet, much 
> less where I fit in the scheme of things.  I feel like a little stone, 
> crunched and rolled along by massive tires.  In short, sometimes I know 
> nothing about me except that right now, I hate my life.  I hate, hate, 
> hate it!!
>
> Love,
>
> purple Mari
>
>
>
>
> At 06:37 AM 5/30/2007, you wrote:
>>I'm not sure I follow these questions. I am somewhat afraid of people 
>>seeing me close up and not liking what they see. I do not open up and 
>>trust easily. but once people do get to know me, they get to know me. I am 
>>me and Oon't really know how to be someone else and  don't really want to 
>>learn that either.
>>
>>this may in part be a cultural thing. Germans on the whole are pretty 
>>direct if not to say blunt sometimes and some of my American friends who 
>>have lived in this country sometimes consider Germans pretty rude.
>>
>>
>>Some people when they get to know me and see the all of me will pull away. 
>>That can be painfuland I know the pain of rejection and fear it but I 
>>rather have fewer genuine relationships than many shallow ones.
>>
>>when I get closer to someone, make friends, i try to ask for directness, 
>>bluntness. I especially find this important in an intercultural setting 
>>where the obvious to one party might not at all be the aame to the other. 
>>So I might as well take the opportunity to extend this request to you guys 
>>on this list that you give me "blunt" if there is a need for it. <g> I 
>>find that the relationships where there is directness work the best for 
>>me.
>>
>>When I get close to someone, I do fear the other seeing too much, fear the 
>>pain of rejection and that sometimes causes a lot of inner turmoil to me 
>>as I lack self-confidence a lot and am used to secondguessing myself a 
>>lot. this is where my lessons in "simple!" come in. And I sometimes find 
>>that "simple!" is the hardest for me to learn.
>>
>>While I struggle with the fear to be seen too much of a lot, at the same 
>>time, I long for "come and see" in my close relationships and try to keep 
>>my shields down. I used to be very different, used to be walled in a whole 
>>lot more and sometimes I wonder if that is not the better choice. Probably 
>>it's a matter of balance and I'm not always very good at finding that 
>>balance.
>>
>>I find that what i feel about and how I handle my human relationships also 
>>affects my relationship with God. I am still very much trying to learn to 
>>trust God completely and sometimes feel scared of him or think he might 
>>not want to hear me or talk to me. I marvel at the God of the Universe 
>>caring so much to not only put up with me, but liking me, loving me, being 
>>excited about me. <g> Itr is incredible to me that Jesus loved me enough 
>>to die for me so that i could live, would have the chance to be right with 
>>God and relate to the Creator of the Universe on a very intimate level.
>>
>>Of course it is silly to try and hide from the god who created me, knew me 
>>from the beginning of time and yet I find that I sometimes want to do 
>>that. It's been Mr God's work over the recent months to try and teach me 
>>differently, teach me "simple!" and affirm the "come and see" of which 
>>there is no way out with him anyway. I sure am grateful for that. Getting 
>>to know Mr.God close up is the bestest thing ever! And i am so thankful 
>>for him caring about me, accepting me, loving me,providing for me and also 
>>for the family in Christ he has given me.
>>
>>And I can't help but be me. If anything, since getting to know God more up 
>>close, I've been more "me" than ever before. It amakes me more aware of my 
>>shortcomings and faults and finity and I am more than ever aware that I 
>>have no chance without God's grace and mercy and without Jesus but that is 
>>just the wonder of that. And i am learning that this applies to people 
>>too. I'm learning about love, the unconditional kind that I had  a bit of 
>>a shortage of sometimes  - both with Mr.God and with people.
>>
>>the potential Mr God sees in me often feels many sizes too big but yet he 
>>seems to think I'll fit that eventualy and that gives me hope and as I 
>>grow in the lord, i hope that I'll be more like him and hope I'll shine 
>>that back on people. I so much long to be of service and have people see 
>>Mr.God in me just as I have seen and see mr.god in the people Mr.God puts 
>>in my life.And with Mr.God, it's got to be genuine and straight because 
>>he's in the middle and knows and I can only reflect God when I reflect 
>>from my middle out and don't put on filters.
>>
>>I think I rambled enough and I hope this is not too crude or personal but 
>>the question kind of touched me. I do hope that I am genuine enough to let 
>>Mr.God shine out from me unfiltered and unshielded.
>>
>>God Bless,
>>
>>Doris
>>
>>
>>At 06:40 AM 5/30/2007 -0600, you wrote:
>>
>>>Who would you be if you were yourself?  What if people saw you for whom 
>>>you
>>>really are?  Who would you be then?
>>>
>>>Phil.
>>>
>>>
>>>
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>>>11:40 AM
>>
>>
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