i am sorry if this comes off as rude but you need to remind your wife
how she would feel if it were her blood child that had the issue and
it was your step child and you treated him the way that she does. she
should be more sympathetic to not only him but also to you it is not
easy having a child with disabilities.... there are support groups out
there if daniel sees a nuerologist ask them next appointment about
groups. and i dont think that you are babying him i think that you
love your son and are just trying to help him again she cant relate
because she doesnt have thatt "blood relationship" with him i
guarantee the situation would be diffrent if he were her son...
On 3/20/09, Allan Olive <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Hello All,
>
> I just signed up because I am looking for some help and I am having the
> hardest time finding what I need.
>
> I live in Columbia County Georgia and I have a 12 year old son with moderate
> CP.  He has impaired speech and motor skills.  He is in a wheelchair but can
> crawl.  He can speak basic words with effort.  He is toilet trained.
>
> To get right to it, I know that the divorce rate is high for families with
> children
> of disabilities.  My wife and I divorced when my son was around 6 or 7.  I
> have
> split custody so I have him 15 days out of the month.  I am remarried, and
> that is where my problem is.
>
> My wife loves my son Daniel.  But lately she is growing more and more
> annoyed and aggravated with him.  It shows in how she talk to him and treats
> him.  She is almost always angry when he is over.  She has not always been
> this way with him, but it is getting worse and worse.  You can almost cut
> the
> tension in the air when it is his time to be there.
>
> He tends to slump in his chair and hang his head to one side and to keep one
> of his hands clenched in a fist.  If you look at him and tell him to sit up
> he
> will .  He will self correct all of those things.  He will sit there with
> his mouth
> open and watch tv or play and he tends to drool if he forgets to swallow.
> If
> you tell him to close his mouth and swallow he will with no problems.  But
> after
> a few minutes he reverts back and may start to drool again.
>
> This is a huge issue for my wife.  She does not understand why he has to
> constantly be reminded.  If you look at him he will immediately close his
> mouth
> and swallow because he knows he should be doing that.  But for some reason
> it really upsets my wife that he constantly has to be reminded and does not
> do it on his own.  She thinks he knows he should and just chooses not too.
> I
> disagree.  I don't like to see it either, but when I do, I try to lovingly
> remind
> him to do it.  She says I am babying him.  Am I?  I don't know.  I expect
> him
> to do it, but I don't get angry with him if he fails to.
>
> What should I do here?  I am at a total loss.  This has really become a
> problem between my wife and I.  Is there a medical explanation as to why he
> constantly does that?  Can he not be expected to remember to do those
> things on his own?
>
> Are their support groups for families that struggle with these issues?  Is
> counseling available from people who have been there and understand?  Are
> their on-line resources available that may help me?
>
> Thanks in advance for any response.
>
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