Hi,
While I have not had these kinds of horrible experiences I can imagine how 
devastating it could be to a young girl.  I will keep you in my prayers and 
you know the Lord loves us and forgives all our sins.  Keep the faith and 
know that you are loved.
Virgie and Hoshi
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "MariJean" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, April 23, 2007 8:46 AM
Subject: my prayer session


> On Saturday night, Jesus took me back to my rage, which, by the way gave 
> birth to one of my helpers when I was yet a child.  I carried this rage 
> for at least 50 years.  It was so familiar that I integrated it into part, 
> (the largest portion) of my personal identity.
>
> I had to go back and feel it again, the murderous, destructive, powerful 
> rage, mostly directed against my brother who was the 2nd of my sexual 
> perpetators from the time I was 12 until I was 16 years old.
>
> But, it was not just the molestations, but it was the fact that, along 
> with taking my body whenever he desired it, it was also the fact that he 
> drew it and sharred these drawnings with his school mates.  I only knew 
> this when I overheard a conversation between my brother and his best 
> friend as they talked and laughed about the drawings.
>
> My brother was a gifted young artist, and, his renderings of my nude body 
> and, of course, my sexual organs must have been pretty good.
>
> As I returned to the place where this rage, both against my father and my 
> brother, a wave of nausea swept over me and, I wasn't sure if I would cry, 
> or vomit.  It turned out that I was suffering from abreaction, which Phil 
> had seen many times before.
>
> In the long and the short of it, I ended up giving up the murderous rage 
> and, later only discovered that I also carried guilt because, as a 
> twelve-year-old girl, growing into a woman, not only did my body enjoy the 
> first few encounters, I had given him permission for these first 
> encounters.  Later, when the enjoyment wore off, he had to use threats and 
> intimidation to continue this sickening behavior.
>
> Now, to where I am now.  This rage formed a goodly part of my own personal 
> identity and, when I gave it to THE LORD, now, I feel as if I have lost a 
> huge chunk of myself and I feel empty and sorrowful.
>
> Jesus showed me how he viewed me, though I still believed myself to be a 
> twenty-cent whore.
>
> There is also the further complication of the aniversary of my parents 
> death which is on the twenty-fifth of this month.
>
> Please, my loving family, please pray for me.  I feel in deep grief at 
> present.  I know that THE LORD JESUS THE CHRIST is with me because he 
> promised this, but pray, pray, pray for me during this deep grief.  I know 
> that I will be a much happier person, free of the weight of the guilt and 
> the rage when all is said and done, but I need your support.
>
> I am sorry if this subject has offended some, but writing at least some of 
> it is very, very important.  I need to shed light on this all-too-long 
> darkened and self-destructive part of my life and my personage.
>
> Thank you for reading this.
>
> LOVE IN CHRIST THE RADIANT AND GLORIOUS KING,
>
> Mari