I haven't formatted this article yet for my website but I think I'll have it
done this weekend. For now, here is that article.
Silver Is Golden
By Phil Scovell
Acts 3:6
Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have
give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and
walk.
Perhaps the most major obstacle a person faces who has been
assigned to ministry, unless he already happens to be a
millionaire, or is fortunate enough to be called to service in a
large enough church willing and able to pay him a generous wage,
is finances. By that I mean, having enough money. It seems that
money is literally part of training necessary to fulfill a
ministry assignment. This is especially true if your ministry
assignment is a Lone Ranger commission. I refrain from using the
words "God called me," because such isn't true. I was never
called, at any time, to any ministry. This is especially true
related to the intercessory prayer ministry I am doing now.
Furthermore, I never would have, picked, for one second, what my
assignment is now in the Body of Christ.
Literally, for many years, I suffered with an monstrous fear
that God was going to call me to do something that I knew I could
not do. I realize how stupid that sounds but it was a real fear
and anxiety I had for years. I was an assistant pastor once, I
was the head pastor, if you call 50 church members a head pastor,
and in my early twenties, I traveled off and on for five years as
something we, as Baptists, called an evangelist. We were, of
course, no such thing. We were guest speakers who preached
nightly and held, what we loosely called, revival meetings. These
generally lasted a week. I felt I was called to all these
various ministry positions. The result of each ministry was an
extreme deficiency of funds and generally, it was feast or famine
for my family.
Years ago, I remember hearing a man preach in the large
Baptist church where I was a member and a deacon, or what some may
call a church elder in other denominations, and we had a guest
speaker, an evangelist, who had come to preach every evening for a
week, that is, Sunday through Sunday. He was well known in our
denomination and before he had died, a few years later, he had
preached over 900 revival meetings. He was a great man of God,
too.
One night, he told about when God "called" him to the
ministry. I use that term loosely. He said, "If you are called
to the ministry, God will open doors so wide, you almost fall
right through the opening and you will know it is God's will for
your life." He wasn't the only one I heard make that statement
over a period of many years. It always bothered me, too, because
it had never happen to me as they suggested. This alone, after
time, created extremely fertile ground in which the Enemy could
plant corrupt seeds, and resulting in considerable spiritual and
emotional conflicted and instability. I compensated by trying
more diligently to be a good Christian and one hopefully God would
some day notice.
I felt born to ministry and by the time I was thirteen, I was
positive I would bee in full time service one day. However, it
never seemed to work out. I preached my first sermon at a street
mission when I was 17 years young. After traveling as a guest
speaker for 5 years and starting out at 23 years of age, being an
assistant pastor, going through years trying to find a church that
would let me pastor, and only to discover they were uninterested
in having a blind man for a pastor, I finally gave up and started
a high speed cassette duplication business. My customers were
mostly churches and traveling preachers. I became half happy.
Eventually my business grew and also branched out into other
areas and somewhat became international in scope. I was still
unsatisfied and began to pray about whatever it was that simply
didn't feel right. Although I was making more money than I had
ever made, something felt wrong. As I took time out to pray late
one evening in my office, the Lord began to minister to me and
made it clear His will for my life. It would be only three months
later before I came to understand what it was He wanted me to do.
In mid 2002, after I began having anxiety and panic attacks,
nightmares, and hearing voices, not to mention suicidal thoughts
and the loss of my job, I realized the Lord was trying to get my
attention. I know this because He had told me earlier that year
to quit my job. I said, "Are you crazy?" I wasn't about to give
up my job. Besides, we needed the money. Then the Lord, in His
patient tolerant way, gave me a hint, in more ways than one, what
I would be doing. I had a strong feeling this was something I was
in no way interested. So much for what I wanted. In September of
that year, my job was terminated.
Based upon the same sort of intercessory prayer ministry I am
now doing, the Lord led me to a man who knew how to pray with
others. After several hours of one on one prayer sessions, I
began to experience the renewing of the mind and the healing of
brokenness that traced clear back to my childhood.
Following several months of prayer with this man once or
twice a week, things were beginning to change. The anxiety was
diminishing, the panic attacks were disappearing, the nightmares
were going away, and I was no longer suicidal. Ordering some
material, I began to study the same intercessory prayer with which
I had become familiar in prayer sessions with the man I had met.
As I studied the basic material one day, I heard the Lord
say, "Buy the advanced materials."
I said, "Lord, what for? I'm just learning this material for
my own benefit and for perhaps to help my own family if called
upon. I'm not interested in more complex areas of ministry."
"Buy the advance training material," came that inner voice
again and just as clearly as the first.
Out of frustration, I said, "why?"
"Because," came the answer, "you will be working with
sexually abused women and multiple personality cases."
I was stunned. Me? I had no interest whatsoever in either
of those areas. Besides, I didn't even know what I was doing with
what I was learning. There was no rebuttal forthcoming from the
Lord. I ordered more materials and began to study. By the end of
that year, I released my arguments with the Holy Spirit and gave
in to what the Lord had assigned me to do in His name and it was
far from easy.
Once I had yielded to the will of the Lord, the first person
with whom I prayed was a lady who had been sexually abused and had
23 alternate personalities. I was literally feeling my way around
in the dark, in more ways than one, but as hard as it was at the
times, I knew this was my "calling" or literally, my assignment
from God.
As I began studying the advanced materials I had purchased,
the Lord clearly told me many things. He said, in a worship
service one Sunday morning in a small church we were attending at
the time, "You will be a father to the fatherless." He did not
say, "I am calling you to be a father to the fatherless." I
quickly questioned what the Holy Spirit had just said to me,
knowing it was the truth, I posed my question by saying, "And whom
do I know that needs a father?" He said, "How about your two
daughter in laws." I immediately stopped trying to argue with
Him. Later, I ended up praying more than once with my two
daughter in laws.
Another day, I was seated on my deck swing studying and
since it was summer, I became thirsty so put my study material
aside and walked off the deck, through the door, into our living
room. That split second I crossed the threshold, I heard the
voice of the Holy Spirit say, "this is who you are now." This was
only two of a series of utterances I heard in my spirit from the
Lord concerning his assignment for me.
After some months of being in the ministry full time, I had
no job anyhow, since mine had been discontinued, so I began, of
course, to experience financial difficulties. Eventually, in
recent times as I write this, the bottom dropped out. I wasn't
charging, nor suggesting even a dollar amount, to anyone with whom
I prayed. Why? How do you charge people to pray? some donated
and those I sent newsletters to, often donated monthly as well.
Plus our small home church gave weekly offerings. Suddenly, and
without warning, many members of our small group lost their job
for one reason or another. My income became the confession of
Peter and John as they spoke to the lame man by the gate as they
entered the temple to pray; Silver and gold have we none. I
became desperate and cried out to God.
I began to receive what I called, pieces to the financial
puzzle, when I inquired of the Lord about what was happening. It
became even more frustrating because the pieces were not falling
into place and completing a spiritual mosaic in my heart. There
was more, therefore I knew, to come. The problem was, I needed
money now. I didn't have time to learn the spiritual and
theological intrinsic methodologies of financial success and I
told the Lord as much.
One afternoon I was working on an article. The Lord had
spoken to me many months earlier about an area of ministry He
would be leading me into. I wasn't thrilled with the news because
it had to do with the demonic realm. I don't spend much time
talking to demons in intercessory prayer sessions because I have
learned it isn't necessary. When I felt this information being
revealed to me, I just figured it meant more of such demonic
manifestations appearing in the prayer sessions. I prayed about
it occasionally but never felt I saw an increase of such demonics
in any prayer sessions that was unusual or different. I didn't
stop to realize the Lord was talking about demonic tampering of
circumstances in my life, my finances, my family, my physical body
and those in my church. I should have known better.
Months passed, finances degraded, and literally began going
backwards, my son began experiencing a loss of business, a man in
our church had a heart attack and nearly died, and although I knew
these things could be happening do to demonic influence, I felt
nothing in my spirit and nothing externally that would indicate
this had anything to do with what the Lord had revealed to me
months earlier. I'm a little slow on the uptake you might say.
I was seated in my office and working on an article relating
to things the Lord had revealed to me and taught me concerning the
nature of demonics associated with those with whom I have prayed.
With out warning, I felt surrounded. It was only an ambient
feeling, nonphysical, but I was completely surrounded from all
sides as if I might be encapsulated inside an invisible cylinder.
I immediately stop typing because I figured a direct demon attack
was imminent. I had experience just such an attack a few days
earlier, not to mention other such experiences over the years, so
I spiritually braced myself for another. However, the feeling of
being surrounded had no threatening emotions or presence. Still I
waited for what I felt was coming.
Quite suddenly, there was a spiritual awareness. It seemed
outside of my body but at the same time, it felt inside. Often in
such experiences, I hear few, if any words. It is generally a
feeling of instant and complete awareness and as the thought
comes, it is all in one concentrated, high focus, burst. Later, I
have to put my own words to the feeling because the words are not
spoken, they are not audible, and they do not form in my thoughts.
Sometimes, however, I did get words in my mind but it is generally
a fragment of the complete thought and only enough to give me an
idea. Why words comes occasionally, while other times there are
no words at all except for impressions, I have no explanation.
This time, there were no words except my own that formed as the
impression instantly materialized.
In my own words, therefore, I was told that I had been under
a test, in a manner of speaking, and that I had endured. "I have
led you to this point to give you one of the important pieces of
the puzzle for which you seek." Suddenly, I realized, without
hearing a word spoken, the piece of the puzzle concerning
finances was being focused upon what the Lord had assigned me to
do.
sitting back in my chair, I said in my mind, "That is the
key!" Then I repeated the thoughts out loud. "That is the key!"
I had been struggling with the idea of getting a job, figuring out
how to get more money flowing, considering trying to start a small
home based business again, should I go part time or full time
outside the home, praying with people in the evenings or on the
weekends until things financially stabilized. I just did not know
and I had been struggling with such thoughts for literally months.
Here's a tip. If it is complicated, it isn't God speaking to you.
One day, as I sat complaining in prayer, it certainly wasn't
any form of communications I normally have with the Lord, I
actually realized that financially speaking, we were going
backwards. I had this sudden realization, that was God telling
me something. I am not one to see demons and to sense their
presence in a room. I know others who have this gift but I am not
one of them. I recognize the evidence of their presence,
especially when praying with others, but I rarely sense their
presence in circumstances but rather I look for the signs of their
presence. As I prayed, complained, the Lord revealed to me things
were going literally backwards because of the demonic oppression
and tampering of my finances. That was another piece of the
puzzle and there have been many more; too numerous to list now.
That revelation, on the other hand, was a turning point in my
thinking. When the presence of the Lord surrounded me, therefore,
and the Holy Spirit spoke to me, I realize the truth for what it
was.
Now, someone is asking about this time, "So, did a big check
come in the mail the next day? Did money fall out of the sky,"
sort of speak," and solve all your money problems?" Of course,
not but I know who Jesus is now because he revealed to me that
piece of the puzzle many months ago when this thing started coming
to a head. You see, what I learned is that Jesus is all that is
important. If you know Him, and if you know He loves you above
all else, then you know He is watching. He wants to show us where
He is in our life. If he is outside the circle of your finances,
that's a problem. If He is outside the circle of your physical
well being, then you have a problem. If you believe that He
hasn't met your financial needs before, healed you before,
resolved your problems before, then we have a very very big
problem indeed. That problem is, we have not made Him Lord of all
that we face. It works like salvation. I deal with people every
day who feel they have lost their salvation, or perhaps they
might, if they don't get everything exactly right. I believed
this once, too. Then Jesus showed me the truth one day as I
prayed through a memory that seemed to contain nothing wrong,
sinful, or out of place. Jesus told me in that prayer, "Phil, you
don't have to be perfect because I am." On the other hand, seeing
our circumstances outside of Christ, makes it impossible for
Christ to be Lord. If we begin to doubt our salvation, then Jesus
is not on the inside of your circle of belief. No wonder we
doubt. This is true of every single promise the Lord has made to
us. He is, in other words, our Healer, or He isn't. He is either
our Provider, or He isn't. He either blesses the work of our
hands, or He doesn't. He either takes pleasure in the prosperity
of His servant, or He doesn't. He is either Lord, or He isn't.
Besides, it finally dawned on me one day, if I wasn't Born Again,
washed in the blood of the Lamb, the Enemy would not bother trying
to convinced me I was a lost sinner and going to hell. Why would
he do that if I was lost?
In everything, therefore, the key is Lordship. Where does
Jesus stand in your life. I know what some are thinking based
upon what I used to think. I knew all these things I have been
talking about, as far as God's promises were concerned, for 50
years of walking with the Lord as a Christian. I even tried
applying it time and time again. I committed hundreds of Bible
verses to memory. I was faithful in ever category of Christianity
one could name. I felt exposed, fearful, and vulnerable to any
circumstances that I found myself in at any given time. The truth
is this. Jesus is all we need and He is as solid as a rock.
Believe anything else, and your relationship with the Lord will
drift aimlessly anywhere the Enemy chooses to blow. So, do we
fight the Enemy? No, Jesus has already defeated him. We simply
live in Jesus and listen for His voice. Jesus supercedes the
silver and gold which you don't have.
finally, let me point out something you should already know.
I am not your example. I could fail, crash and burn in my
Christian life, and that should have no effect upon you and your
relationship with God. I have seen many men of God self destruct
in my life and some I considered great men of God. If your eyes
are on anyone but Jesus, you will never see the truth about any
situation you face. Sometimes, of course, we need help. In
fact, accountability is, or should be, the main goal of any church
Body. If we do not submit ourselves one to another in the fear of
the Lord, we will not be able to experience complete and total
filling of the Holy Spirit.
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