Thank you Brad,
You did understand me correctly.  A bad parent is a noun.  Bad 
parenting is a verb.  Verbs are easily changed, nouns are not.  Angel 
sounds like a wonderful, loving mother, but this teen needs a strong 
hand of leadership.  Most teens, especially boys, do.  It's nothing 
against a mother.  Mothers are great in the love and mush department, 
but we can be lousy in the backbone department.  Unfortunately, with 
angel being alone on this one, she may really need to bring in 
outside, male help to get the job done.  It's an unfortunate pain in 
the neck inconvenience in the short term, but it will pay off in the 
long term.  I'm glad that we were as tough on Chris as we had to be, 
but that is thanks mostly to Greg staying the course more than my 
mothering.  I was constantly collapsing and crying over all the stuff 
that took place.  Greg really provided the steady, no nonsense 
forward motion.  It was right for us to take back and hold on to the 
authority in our home and I am seeing that, now, Chris is respecting 
us much more for it.  God Himself is a tough parent, but he doesn't 
do it out of meanness, but out of love.  If you don't believe it, 
read Hebrews 12:5-12 to get my point.  We are God's representatives 
on earth to our children.  That is a responsibility given to us by 
God Himself.  How we behave has a lot to do with how our children see 
God and it is important that they see Him as a caring, loving Father 
with well meaning discipline more than simply a, "get out of jail free," card.
Kathy


At 07:43 PM 12/22/2006, you wrote:
>Angel,
>
>First let me say, for your original request, that of the radio, 
>yes  material possessions are OK to have, as long as they don't have 
>us if you get my meaning. I think you do have the right  perspective 
>on that. Now,  with respect to your parenting and lack or failure 
>of, deserving of and etc. particularly towards Kathy's comment, I 
>have a couple observations if I may.
>
>I will start off saying I wouldn't make any comment if I didn't care 
>for you and so  that will be the foundation of my comments. I will 
>say that the comment of "not deserving any children" and the 
>accompanying statements  seems to be  out of a knee jerk 
>response  to an offense and hurt feelings. That should be, at least 
>for my sake, pointed out. When I read Kathy's comments I thought... 
>"Oooh, that's a tough one", almost harsh? But the contents of what 
>she said was spot on when it comes to discipline. I sense you  were 
>offended by the term "that's bad parenting". At least that term 
>stuck out to me as the potential ball peen on the knee. However, 
>that does not equate a bad parent. I tend to think, and perhaps some 
>might disagree, that I'm a pretty good parent, and yet I've had my 
>moments of bad parenting. Some in the repeated areas in which I 
>should have learned, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad parent. So 
>perhaps you might  consider the points made, and match them to God's 
>word on how to deal with such, and whatever doesn't match. Toss out. 
>Faithful are the  wounds of a friend and deceitful are the kisses of 
>an enemy.  I can't tell you exactly what to do, but from all you 
>have mentioned regarding your son, I do feel  you would benefit 
>making realization to you and your son that you are the parent with 
>the keys to discipline and deserving parental respect, not he. He is 
>a young man or becoming so, at least in age and physical traits, 
>much less so in maturity and behavior I'm afraid, and so the respect 
>and honor that goes with your position as parent ought be upheld and 
>enforced. As well that honor and respect has a cost of 
>responsibility to  not let a child rule the roost, blind mom or not. 
>You are indeed, if letting him call the shots as it were, not doing 
>him any good and are allowing him, that is all within your power to 
>do ass a parent, allowing him to go out in the world irresponsible 
>and ill prepared. Now, I will also say that each of us, child or 
>adult has the choice to do as he or she wishes, and even a parent 
>can not strong arm a child into something if he or she doesn't wish 
>to do something. There are always around that, but, you do not have 
>to let it happen under your own roof,  and to your own things yes. 
>No, the radio ought not have you as possessions go, but as well it 
>ought not have your son. the possession of that or desire, cause 
>him, or allegedly or possibly caused him to steal it. Whatever the 
>case, I commend you  on your concern on how you conduct your 
>attitudes and conduct with respect to God's word, do not leave your 
>son out of that concern. It would appear to me that he is deserving 
>for prayer over the radio much more than your concern of materialism 
>for yourself. If he does not comply, and you are emotionally and 
>verbally abused and your possessions are stolen and he cannot be 
>trusted, then he may well need to find somewhere else to live so you 
>can carry on your daily walk. I do remember encouraging Kathy as 
>well to a tough discipline, and I know it is hard. My son is 
>learning lessons as well out on his own as he chose to do not being 
>able to live under our rules and since has no driver's license due 
>to a drunk driving arrest, no car, and will be in  an insurance 
>pool. He is broke all the time despite making fair money for his age 
>and little bills to take care of. I can't preach anymore, certain 
>lessons they have to pay for and glean what they can on their own. 
>In Old Testament days, if parents had a child who was unruly and 
>could not be disciplined, they literally turned him over to the 
>elders of the city and he was stoned to death. This is how much they 
>realized proper discipline was necessary not only for the family but 
>for the neighbors, neighborhood and city, and everyone he or she 
>comes in contact with. for the good of manhood altogether really. 
>For your sake and your sons as well, perhaps you need to look at 
>your choices, and take a godly stand. Which doesn't always appear 
>loving. Love is harsh sometimes and has nothing to do with making 
>one feel good, which is why I think Kathy said what she said, I 
>think she loves you in Christ's love and yet knew it would hurt. 
>That's about as meddlesome as I want to get *smile*.
>
>You can do it, you can take charge, if Malcome can't fly right under 
>the rules, if he will not respect you as his mother and obey the 
>rules you've set forth, you have no power over him and subject to 
>continual prayer for a situation which you are allowing to continue 
>under your own roof. This is said with the limited knowledge  I have 
>to consider as I am not there obviously. You can do this thing 
>though. And you will feel so much better even trying with rivaled 
>challenges than lying down and not trying at all. The child submits 
>to the parent, not  the other way around. I'll pray for you, for 
>strength, for wisdom, for security who you are in your household.
>
>Brad