Kathy,

I am learning I still have anger, for example, and where it is coming from.
I am learning that there isn't anything that can be done but praying for
Gretchen.  I am learning to stop trying to control the situation, since I
can't any way, and because she is an adult, and just to let God do the work.
I try and talk with her when I can because in this case, she has children
but she rarely has time to talk.  She rarely has time for her children.  She
got mad at us on Thanksgiving, something that is very common, and she stayed
at her boyfriend's house even though her 11 year old son begged her to spend
Thanksgiving with us as a family.  It is better that way for us because
Gretchen has screwed up so many times at Easter, Thanksgiving, and
Christmas, not to mention birthdays, that if I had my choice, I would prefer
she stay away on those days.  She blamed her mom this time because Sandy
tried getting her to come home from her boyfriends to assist in putting the
dinner together.  It works well for Gretchen to get mad, blame somebody
else, and that way she can do what she was planning on doing in the first
place.

Phil.