Vinny, this is a keeper. Thanks, much.
At 07:39 PM 11/15/03 -0800, you wrote:
>Subject: Fw: The Middle Wife (priceless)
>
>
> > Isn't this about the cutest thing?
> >
> > How would you like to be this teacher? A grammar school teacher from
> > Miami,
> > remembers this Oscar-worthy birth tableau from one of her students...
> >
> > "I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,
> > but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade
> > classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I
> > always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over
> > shyness and experience a little public speaking. And it gives me a break
> > and some
> > guaranteed entertainment.
> >
> > Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model
> > airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never,
>ever
> > place > any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to
> > school and talk about it, they're welcome.
> >
> > Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,
> > takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow
> > stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is
> > Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
> > First Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a
> > seed in
> > my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through
> > an umbrella cord."
> >
> > She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to
> > laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her
>in
> > amazement. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts crying and going,
> > "Oh,oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked
> > around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now the kid's doing
>this
> > hysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning.
> >
> > "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have
>a
> > sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed
> > like this." Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then,
> > pop!
> > My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty,
>and
> > it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" This kid
>has
> > her legs spread and with her little hands miming water flowing away. It
> > was
> > too much! "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and breathe,
> > breathe.'" "They started counting, but never even got past ten." "Then,
>all
> > of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they all
> > said was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside
> > there."
> >
> > Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
> > I'm
> > sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day,
>I
> > bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.
> >
> > Life is meant to be lived . . . enjoy.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
John
Capt'n! The spell checkerrr kinna take much morrre of
this abuse!<*>
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