Hi Virgie!
Thank you for standing in the gap for me.
IN GOD'S LOVING ARMS,
Purple Mari.
On Monday 4/23/2007 06:33 AM, VIRGIE UNDERWOOD said:
>Hi,
>While I have not had these kinds of horrible experiences I can
>imagine how devastating it could be to a young girl. I will keep
>you in my prayers and you know the Lord loves us and forgives all
>our sins. Keep the faith and know that you are loved.
>Virgie and Hoshi
>
>
>>On Saturday night, Jesus took me back to my rage, which, by the way
>>gave birth to one of my helpers when I was yet a child. I carried
>>this rage for at least 50 years. It was so familiar that I
>>integrated it into part, (the largest portion) of my personal identity.
>>
>>I had to go back and feel it again, the murderous, destructive,
>>powerful rage, mostly directed against my brother who was the 2nd
>>of my sexual perpetators from the time I was 12 until I was 16 years old.
>>
>>But, it was not just the molestations, but it was the fact that,
>>along with taking my body whenever he desired it, it was also the
>>fact that he drew it and sharred these drawnings with his school
>>mates. I only knew this when I overheard a conversation between my
>>brother and his best friend as they talked and laughed about the drawings.
>>
>>My brother was a gifted young artist, and, his renderings of my
>>nude body and, of course, my sexual organs must have been pretty good.
>>
>>As I returned to the place where this rage, both against my father
>>and my brother, a wave of nausea swept over me and, I wasn't sure
>>if I would cry, or vomit. It turned out that I was suffering from
>>abreaction, which Phil had seen many times before.
>>
>>In the long and the short of it, I ended up giving up the murderous
>>rage and, later only discovered that I also carried guilt because,
>>as a twelve-year-old girl, growing into a woman, not only did my
>>body enjoy the first few encounters, I had given him permission for
>>these first encounters. Later, when the enjoyment wore off, he had
>>to use threats and intimidation to continue this sickening behavior.
>>
>>Now, to where I am now. This rage formed a goodly part of my own
>>personal identity and, when I gave it to THE LORD, now, I feel as
>>if I have lost a huge chunk of myself and I feel empty and sorrowful.
>>
>>Jesus showed me how he viewed me, though I still believed myself to
>>be a twenty-cent whore.
>>
>>There is also the further complication of the aniversary of my
>>parents death which is on the twenty-fifth of this month.
>>
>>Please, my loving family, please pray for me. I feel in deep grief
>>at present. I know that THE LORD JESUS THE CHRIST is with me
>>because he promised this, but pray, pray, pray for me during this
>>deep grief. I know that I will be a much happier person, free of
>>the weight of the guilt and the rage when all is said and done, but
>>I need your support.
>>
>>I am sorry if this subject has offended some, but writing at least
>>some of it is very, very important. I need to shed light on this
>>all-too-long darkened and self-destructive part of my life and my personage.
>>
>>Thank you for reading this.
>>
>>LOVE IN CHRIST THE RADIANT AND GLORIOUS KING,
>>
>>Mari
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