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Date: | Thu, 27 Mar 2008 09:48:45 EDT |
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Spread the Stupidity
Only in America ...do drugstores make the sick
walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
[Because the exercise attenuates health - Haruna]
Only in America ...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and
a diet-coke.
[Freedom of Choice - Haruna]
Only in
America ...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the
counters.
[To give the impression of security for your investment - Haruna]
Only in America ...do we leave cars
worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
[For safekeeping until we donate them or for that garage sale in the spring.
In America, we are encouraged to give and sell what is well-kept - Haruna]
Only in America ...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
packages of eight.
[So we can share the remaining two dogs to our neighbour - Haruna]
Only in
America ...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well:
'Poli' in Latin meaning ' many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
['Poly' in Latin means variety. 'Ticks' means perspectives of the clock -
Haruna]
Only in America ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
lettering.
[To honour the blind members of our society - Haruna]
EVER WONDER .
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin ?
[The hair shades our skin from the sun - Haruna]
Why women can't put on mascara with their
mouth closed?
[In deference to our women-folk, no comment - Haruna]
Why don't you ever see the headline
'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
The Psychic wins the winners of lottery, she takes her chances elsewhere -
Haruna]
Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
[To encourage you in brevity in communication. Your time is valuable -
Haruna]
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
[Practicing to be God, Never perfecting God - Haruna]
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor,
and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
[Lemon Juice cleans dirt better than it nourishes - Haruna]
Why is the man who invests all your money
called a broker?
[The lazy s.o.b. breaks you to get rich - Haruna]
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic
called rush hour?
[Hurry-up and wait - Haruna]
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
[To discourage wanton murder - Haruna]
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
[Mosquitoes are food for frogs and lizards - Haruna]
Why do they sterilize the needle for
lethal injections?
[They don't want to commit murder by infestation - Haruna]
You know that indestructible black box that is
used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
[Fly at your own risk - Haruna]
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
[The rains help grow their food - Haruna]
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
[Spread apart by walls - Haruna]
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
No. Its a club of con-artists: Haruna]
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
[Flying by humans is not safe, plus it invades the territory of birds
without proper ornithological clearance - Haruna]
Now that you've smiled at least once,
it's your turn to spread the stupidity and
send this to someone you want to bring a
smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We
all need to smile every once in a while.
[says the con-artist; I'm not smiling. Cleverness makes me smile more.
Haruna]
**************Create a Home Theater Like the Pros. Watch the video on AOL
Home.
(http://home.aol.com/diy/home-improvement-eric-stromer?video=15?ncid=aolhom00030000000001)
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