Subject: | |
From: | |
Reply To: | B-P Golden Oldies: "The listserv troubled by a bad conscience and a good memory."" < [log in to unmask]> |
Date: | Tue, 15 Aug 2006 11:09:56 -0100 |
Content-Type: | text/plain |
Parts/Attachments: |
|
|
The TSA does not want you to know that Osama has financed a black-ops
squad of yoga ninjas holed up in some damnable desert cave who are
perfecting the art of suicidal spontaneous combustion through mind
projection control. They are naked as a jay -- no shoes... don't count
the penis gourds -- and when they get to work they can make people
around them explode for no apparent reason. Think exploding pumpkins.
They are also able to fly around the inside of their dark cave... though
in this action they resemble retarded bats or bumping muscle balls. As a
result in future we can expect that normal people will not be allowed to
board airplanes. Be prepared now for the freedom restriction of the
future! If you see naked people flying then speak up. Avoid the urge to
explode. The good news is that this mind control does not work on pigs.
So if you are traveling we suggest that you put your brain into
pig-think mode and audibly oink a lot. Oinking is best practiced in
groups and we encourage you to encourage everyone that you travel with
to oink. One reason our government has not issued public warnings
against spontaneous exploding is that they have not figured out how to
tax you for oinking. If you are self-conscious about oinking, or your
oinking sounds like a gargle, you can purchase hi-def digital mp3 files
of rutting audible actors from the non-profit American Association of
Free Oinkers Online (AAFOO) and practice at your own pace in the
non-seclusion of your bedroom. Take an oink for victory in the war on
terrorism. Compiled with the oversight of a panel of Venezuelan security
experts. A great diversion for consenting couples and party groups.
Additional sets of recordings, plus mechanical devices designed to
enhance your oinking will soon be available at Walmart, Sports Authority
and your local Home Depot. No fluids are involved.
][<
--
To terminate puerile preservation prattling among pals and the
uncoffee-ed, or to change your settings, go to:
<http://listserv.icors.org/archives/bullamanka-pinheads.html>
|
|
|