Thanks Kathy for sharing this with us. I found it so mooving.

take care,

love,
Malcolm.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Kathy Du Bois" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Friday, January 19, 2007 3:04 PM
Subject: the honor shown my Dad


> Hi Guys,
> I wanted to write more yesterday and share with you all the happenings 
> surrounding my Dad's funeral, but I came home with some kind of a bug and 
> so I had to keep my message short and to the point.  It is no fun flying 
> when you don't feel well.  Liz and I both just stayed in bed, for the most 
> part and recovered.  I just wanted to let you know yesterday that I was 
> home and safe.
> Anyway, the events surrounding Dad's funeral were just amazing!  I just 
> have to share them with you.  God was so with all of us.  First of all, 
> when the pastor came over on Sunday, to plan out the funeral service we 
> all had a great time swapping memories of Dad and what a character he 
> truley was.
> Then, and I have no idea how the next part of this story will fly with 
> some of you, but I'll tell it anyway, because it was healing for me, I 
> began praying about having the courage to touch my Dad in order to say 
> goodbye.  I felt as though the Lord was telling me that this would be an 
> important part of the healing process for me because I wasn't able to say 
> goodbye to him while he was still alive.  Finally I prayed that, if the 
> Lord felt that this was important for me, that he would arrange it so that 
> I could do it alone, since I had no idea how I would react.  I didn't even 
> tell Greg about this because I thought that I was being so bizarre.
> Anyway, our family was scheduled to have a private viewing at 11:00 am. on 
> Monday morning, which  ended up being a very nice thing, but anyway, Greg 
> and I got going earlier than expected and showed up arount 10:00 am. 
> instead.  We knew the funeral dirrector pretty well because we used to 
> attend church together when Greg and I lived in the area.  The funeral 
> director came out to the parking lot to express his condolences to me 
> personally and then he said, "Kathy, would you like to spend some time 
> alone with your father ahead of time?"  I couldn't believe it, but there 
> was God preparing a private place for me in the midst of everything, so I 
> went in with the director and spent some time alone with my Dad.  I just 
> kept stroking his arm and holding his hand.  I couldn't believe how easy 
> it was once I got past my own fears.  What I hadn't expected was how I 
> opened the door for others in my family, especially my Mom, to reach out 
> and touch Dad to say goodbye after me.
> The rest of the family gathered and we hugged and cried, but rejoiced that 
> Dad is at peace now.  At around 4:00 pm. we had a public wake and, O My 
> Goodness, I couldn't believe how many people showed up to say goodbye. 
> The wake lasted three hours.  Our family formed a reception line and I 
> honestly didn't believe that there would be enough time for everybody to 
> make it through.  It was incredible how many lives this simple man 
> touched.  Our family had a kind of joke about it though.  You see, my Dad 
> hated crowds.  He always just wanted to get in and get out and get 
> whatever he was supposed to do over with.  We were joking that this was 
> probably the only way that Dad could have handled this situation, 
> especially as the center of attention. GRIN!  I'll bet that there were 
> between 2 & 300 people, easy.
> Anyway, then, there was a military funeral.  Wow, was that powerful. 
> All the V.F.W. posts in the Stephenson area participated.  It is a very 
> moving service.  First, they all filed past my Dad and gave him a sollute. 
> then, they read about his military history and his obituary.    When they 
> prayed, they would remove their caps and put them back on when the prayer 
> was done.  Then, they began folding the flag and as they did so, the 
> chaplain explained what each fold of the flag meant.  It was really 
> powerful. I was amazed at how much of the service, including each fold of 
> the flag, points to honoring God first, above all else.  Then, of course, 
> they presented the flag to my Mom, then Taps was played on a trumpet and 
> then, the men retreated.
> After that, they held, what is called a prayer service.  The pastor 
> preached a sermon at this and there was a time of prayer and then Greg and 
> I sang the old Swedish hymn, "Day by Day."
> After most of the people had left, Mom wanted to go up to the casket one 
> more time and I offered to go with her.  She and I walked up and this 
> time, she felt comfortable taking his arm and saying, "good night dear." 
> It was very hard to keep from crying as she did this because I knew that 
> this was what she had said to him every night, but this time, it was so 
> final.  We prayed together prayers of thanks for Dad and for the life he 
> provided for us, with God's help.
> The next Day, was the church funeral.  I and two of my brothers 
> participated in that.  I sang a simple song that Dad had asked me to sing 
> when he died.  The thing is, he had asked me to do this over 32 years ago. 
> I also sang "Because He Lives," and we got the whole church rockin' on the 
> chorus.  then, the cemetary is right behind the church so we moved out to 
> there, but the cool thing was that the pianist began playing, "How Great 
> Thou Art," and I started singing it and everybody joined in, so we walked 
> out to the cemetary, in 12 degree weather singing.  Awesome, eh?  Seven of 
> Dad's Grandsons were the paul barers.   Matt would have made eight, but he 
> didn't want to do it.
> At the committal service, I sang, "Thy Holy Wings Dear Savior."  The chill 
> added extra vibrato to my voice, but I was determined to at least give 
> this gift, since I had not been able to sing to him one more time before 
> he left this earth.
> It was just a powerful few days for me.  Thank you for letting me share. 
> My mom is being amazing so far.  I think that all of us kids are so 
> worried about her.  We're constantly calling her to make sure that she's 
> okay and those who are close keep dropping in.  She has just been so 
> strong through all of this.
> I'll just share two more things, and then, I'll close.  Our church out 
> here in Glenburn, on their own, sent flowers to my family.  That is 
> incredible to me, that they would reach out beyond their circle to show 
> such honor to my Dad.  I can't tell you how good that made Greg and I 
> feel.
> Secondly, there is   a Steve Green song called, "Find Us Faithful."  Some 
> of the words in that song are, "After all our hopes and dreams have come 
> and gone and our children sift through all we've left behind, may the 
> clues that they discover and the memories they uncover become the light 
> that leads them to the road we each must find."  Well, when my Mom was 
> going through my Dad's wallet on Saturday, she found a little cross in it 
> that says, "Jesus Saves."  She has no idea how long he had carried it or 
> where he picked it up, but this little cross was placed in Dad's hands for 
> the viewing and the burial.  He had always had it with him and he still 
> does, but for a short time, everyone was able to see the testimony that my 
> Dad lived in deeds.
> God bless,
> Kathy
>
>