Boy Carol,
I can understand having a hard time turning down an opportunity to 
minister with your musical talent.  Only you, however, know how you 
feel.  You can describe how you feel and where you are hurting, but 
none of us can really know what you are feeling, except you.  This 
means, we can't really advise you either.  God can though and I pray 
that, if you are to play, you will sense His strength and peace and 
if you are to pass on this gift, you will experience His grace and 
peace just the same.
God's peace to you as you decide.  I believe that there is no wrong 
answer here, only a matter of choice.
Kathy



At 09:07 PM 5/21/2006, you wrote:
>Hi all,
>
>I have a few things I'd like to share primarily for your prayers but 
>would welcome any comments on what I share.
>
>First, as a part of the background to what I share later and so you 
>know how it is with me now, to those who don't know, I've been 
>battling with a real bad sleep problem for years and years but 
>primarily in the last year.  My sleep was nothing for so long that I 
>became quite mentally unwell, or that's what it would seem, and I 
>went through all sorts of peculiar neuro problems, showing 
>themselves in a sort of form of mini stroke and sometimes I would 
>clearly be on auto pilot, talking and having coffee and knowing 
>nothing about it.  Finally, with increased meds, I became more and 
>more sleepy but felt unwell, so we decided I'd come off them all!  I 
>got almost down and had a horrific reaction with awful nightmares 
>etc and depression/doom and gloom which I've not known before.  My 
>GP is still talking about being off the meds in the next month and 
>maybe we'll try Melatonin.  (Medication and I just don't seem to mix 
>these days!)
>
>Anyway, amidst all this, I try to keep going and, I have to say that 
>the fact that I am still in my home and appear fine a lot of the 
>time to some at least of our callers is a testimony of God's 
>goodness to me.  However, I'm also battling with additional physical 
>problems, including a very painful arm and muscle damage over some 
>months, a pretty wrecked shoulder, a back that never goes away and 
>legs now that are taking a lot of the pain from my back.  In 
>addition I've been having some arthritis in my wrists and thumbs.
>
>Now your thoughts and prayers:  I've been asked to play the piano at 
>a wedding in three weeks' time.  I used to play a lot until 15 years 
>ago and have had little opportunity since that time.  (I only have a 
>small electronic piano which is fairly hard to play so don't find I 
>even play around on it too much.)  Anyway, I have been practising on 
>and off but keep ending up with very stiff wrists and pains and 
>yesterday just couldn't play through the items.  I am really 
>wondering whether I'm to pull out of this one.  I know others who 
>are going who are far better pianists than I am, but it's not 
>because I won't play in front of them that I'm thinking I should 
>pull out.  I need my wrists and hands for reading, writing etc. and 
>these seem more important to me right now than playing the piano 
>when others could do it, even though the bride and groom, for some 
>unknown reason, are very keen that I should do it.
>
>My thoughts and feelings are all over the place in this one, 
>sometimes thinking I can and should and at others feeling it's just 
>another thing I can't do right now.
>
>With three weeks to go, I either have to pull out for good next 
>weekend or go ahead.  The current pains and stiffnesss in my wrists 
>and thumbs have really knocked me back over the past couple of days 
>to the point where I am getting very stressed about it all.
>
>Please stand with me in this, that I will do what He wants and, even 
>more important, that I will know just what that is.
>
>
>--
>Carol
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