The TSA does not want you to know that Osama has financed a black-ops 
squad of yoga ninjas holed up in some damnable desert cave who are 
perfecting the art of suicidal spontaneous combustion through mind 
projection control. They are naked as a jay -- no shoes... don't count 
the penis gourds -- and when they get to work they can make people 
around them explode for no apparent reason. Think exploding pumpkins. 
They are also able to fly around the inside of their dark cave... though 
in this action they resemble retarded bats or bumping muscle balls. As a 
result in future we can expect that normal people will not be allowed to 
board airplanes. Be prepared now for the freedom restriction of the 
future! If you see naked people flying then speak up. Avoid the urge to 
explode. The good news is that this mind control does not work on pigs. 
So if you are traveling we suggest that you put your brain into 
pig-think mode and audibly oink a lot. Oinking is best practiced in 
groups and we encourage you to encourage everyone that you travel with 
to oink. One reason our government has not issued public warnings 
against spontaneous exploding is that they have not figured out how to 
tax you for oinking. If you are self-conscious about oinking, or your 
oinking sounds like a gargle, you can purchase hi-def digital mp3 files 
of rutting audible actors from the non-profit American Association of 
Free Oinkers Online (AAFOO) and practice at your own pace in the 
non-seclusion of your bedroom. Take an oink for victory in the war on 
terrorism. Compiled with the oversight of a panel of Venezuelan security 
experts. A great diversion for consenting couples and party groups. 
Additional sets of recordings, plus mechanical devices designed to 
enhance your oinking will soon be available at Walmart, Sports Authority 
and your local Home Depot. No fluids are involved.

][<

--
To terminate puerile preservation prattling among pals and the
uncoffee-ed, or to change your settings, go to:
<http://listserv.icors.org/archives/bullamanka-pinheads.html>