John,

The email transmission initiated by you in the previous diurnal period was 
found to be emensely satisfactory due to the humor contained therein.



JulieMelton
visit me at
www.heart-and-music.com
or subscribe to my podcast at
http://feed.feedburner.com/hmradio
Keep smiling!





>From: David Stahl <[log in to unmask]>
>Reply-To: The Electronic Church <[log in to unmask]>
>To: [log in to unmask]
>Subject: 'twas the night before Christmas
>Date: Thu, 7 Dec 2006 14:31:27 -0500
>
>'Twas the Night Before Christmas
>
>- Written by the Government.
>
>'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the
>annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout the place of
>residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the
>possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic
>rodent known as Mus musculus (mouse).  Hosiery was
>meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood
>burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure
>regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric
>philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the
>honorific title of St. Nicholas.
>
>The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their
>respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing
>subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated
>fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums.
>My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head
>coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the
>hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion
>of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony of
>dissonance that I felt compelled to arise with alacrity from my
>place of repose for the purpose of ascertaining the precise
>source thereof.
>
>Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers
>sealing this fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar
>brilliance without, reflected as it was on the surface of a recent
>crystalline precipitation, might be said to rival that of the solar
>meridian itself - thus permitting my incredulous optical
>sensory organs to behold a miniature airborne runnered
>conveyance drawn by eight diminutive specimens of the genus
>Rangifer, piloted by a minuscule, aged chauffeur so ebullient
>and nimble that it became instantly apparent to me that he was
>indeed our anticipated caller.  With his ungulate motive power
>traveling at what may possibly have been more vertiginous
>velocity than patriotic alar predators, he vociferated loudly,
>expelled breath musically through contracted labia,
>and addressed each of the octet by his or her respective
>cognomen - "Now Dasher, now Dancer..." et al. - guiding them
>to the uppermost exterior level of our abode, through which
>structure I could readily distinguish the concatenations of each
>of the 32 cloven pedal extremities.
>
>As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was
>performing a 180-degree pivot, our distinguished visitant
>achieved - with utmost celerity and via a downward leap - entry
>by way of the smoke passage.  He was clad entirely in animal
>pelts soiled by the ebony residue from oxidations of
>carboniferous fuels which had accumulated on the walls
>thereof.  His resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely
>to the plethora of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in
>a commodious cloth receptacle.
>
>His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his
>submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of
>engaging amiability.  The capillaries of his malar regions
>and nasal appurtenance were engorged with blood which
>suffused the subcutaneous layers, the former approximating the
>coloration of Albion's floral emblem, the latter that of the Prunus
>avium, or sweet cherry.  His amusing sub - and supralabials
>resembled nothing so much as a common loop knot, and their
>ambient hirsute facial adornment appeared like small, tabular
>and columnar crystals of frozen water.
>
>Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece
>whose grey fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput,
>were suggestive of a decorative seasonal circlet of holly.
>His visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed
>audibly mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in
>the manner of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical
>container.  He was, in short, neither more nor less than an
>obese, jocund, multigenarian gnome, the optical perception of
>whom rendered me visibly frolicsome despite every effort to
>refrain from so being.  By rapidly lowering and then elevating
>one eyelid and rotating his head slightly to one side,
>he indicated that trepidation on my part was groundless.
>
>Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the
>aforementioned appended hosiery with various of the
>aforementioned articles of merchandise extracted from his
>aforementioned previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle.
>Upon completion of this task, he executed an abrupt about-face,
>placed a single manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his
>olfactory organ, inclined his cranium forward in a gesture of
>leave-taking, and forthwith effected his egress by renegotiating
>(in reverse) the smoke passage.  He then propelled himself in a
>short vector onto his conveyance, directed a musical expulsion
>of air through his contracted oral sphincter to the antlered
>quadrupeds of burden, and proceeded to soar aloft in a
>movement hitherto observable chiefly among the seed-bearing
>portions of a common weed.  But I overheard his parting
>exclamation, audible immediately prior to his vehiculation
>beyond the limits of visibility: "Ecstatic Yuletide to the planetary
>constituency, and to that self same assemblage, my sincerest
>wishes for a salubriously beneficial and gratifyingly pleasurable
>period between sunset and dawn."