THE FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY
On a Sunday night Angel asked her son Timothy, 6, if all
his homework
was done for school. She asked him several times and he kept just
walking
around asking questions, completely forgetting what Angel had asked.
Some
of Angel's friends came over and she remembered what she had asked
Timothy
about an hour ago. Angel asked him one more time if he had all his
homework done. Acting as "manly" as possible Timothy stood in the
middle
of the living room and with his right hand on his hip replied, "Mom, I
only
hear you three days out of the week." Angel and her friends burst out
laughing. -- Angel of Dry Ridge, Kentucky
In the middle of the night Amberlyn, 4, went into her
mother's room
and said she had a bad dream. They snuggled a minute and then
Amberlyn's
mother asked her if she wanted to tell about her dream. Amberlyn
replied,
"I can't. It was too scary. I was afraid to watch it!" -- Dart
Rhoads
(mother of Amberlyn and Waverly) of San Diego
Ruthie's friend Sharon is the director of the Presbyterian
Day School.
When Sharon's daughter Beth was a little girl she asked Sharon where she
was before she was in her mother's stomach. Then answering her own
question, she said, "Oh, I know. I was in your heart!" -- Ruthie
Garvin
of Humboldt, Tennessee
Pizza delivery was a new adventure for Danyelle, 6, last
week. When
the car pulled up, her grandmother said, "Oh, here's the kid with the
pizza." Danyelle ran to the window and exclaimed, "That's not a
child.
That's a grownup." While eating the pizza, Danyelle's grandfather
said, "I
used to deliver this kind of pizza before you were born." Danyelle
replied, "Well no wonder you're so old." -- Sally Morris (grandmother
of
Danyelle) of Wellington, Florida
Janet and her husband were invited to attend a family
friend's wedding
reception. They convinced their 4-year-old grandson Austin, who was
visiting them, to dress up and then they headed off for the party.
After
an afternoon of gentlemanly behavior, Austin discreetly informed Grandpa
that he needed to go potty. Realizing that this wasn't going to be a
quick
trip, Grandpa waited out of the way of the other guys using the
facilities
while Austin tended to business. Suddenly a little voice was heard
from
the stall, "Grandpa, where are the magazines?" Guests at the
reception
didn't know why all the men coming out of the restroom were laughing!
--
Janet Gronczewski of Angola, Indiana
Here is another one from Janet. During a weekend visit
in Columbus,
Ohio with "the guys," Janet and her husband took Austin and his dad out
to
the movies to see one of those super-hero action adventures. The
half-empty theater darkened and the previews for up-coming attractions
roared across the big screen. There was King Kong courageously
defending
this tiny woman from a ferocious dinosaur! After the trailer's
climactic
crescendo of sound effects faded, they heard a little voice, clearly and
with great awe say, "That was a B-I-G monkey!"
And a third one from Janet. She says her mother-in-law
had just moved
to their town, so it was the whole family's first Easter dinner at
Great-grandma's NEW house. Austin had something of great importance
to
tell his grandma, but after repeatedly calling out for her throughout
the
new house there was no response. Undaunted, he kept calling out as he
headed into the kitchen where his great-grandma was busy putting the
final
touches on her meal. To reassure him she said, "I'm your grandma
too!"
Silence. Then Austin replied, "No, I want my OLD' Grandma. You're
the new
one." Above all the laughter, Grandma's voice could be heard from the
bathroom, "I heard that!"
Following church services one Sunday during Lent, McKenzie
visited her
grandmother who asked her what she had learned that day. McKenzie
replied,
"My teacher told us why Jesus died." Her grandmother, Gloria Wright,
asked
her to tell her why, whereupon McKenzie said, "He died so people can
live
and get old like you." -- Marilyn Wiles of Moneta, Virginia
Cali, 2, is used to hearing "Bless you" when people
sneeze. The other
day Cali sneezed and her Nana, who was busy painting the walls, didn't
say,
"Bless you." Cali waited a few seconds and then said, "Bless my
heart."
-- Cathy (mother of Cali) of Dillard, Georgia
Mary attended a funeral with her 7-year-old daughter.
They drove
their car to the gravesite for the committal of the body. While en
route,
Mary's daughter asked why they had to drive in a line and follow the big
black car. Mary explained that this was the hearse, which carries the
coffin to the graveyard. "We keep in a line so that everyone stays
together and arrives at the gravesite at the same time," Mary said.
Her
daughter was satisfied with the answer. But as they left the
gravesite,
Mary's daughter exclaimed, "Mommy, where is the herd... you know, the
line
of cars that stay together?" -- Mary Rosenberger of Parkville,
Maryland