I Should Have Been A Man
Gender Identification Confusion
By Phil Scovell
She was multiple personality or what is now called
Dissociative Identity Disorder. The little girl's mind had been
fractured and fragmented into dozens of alternate personalities
from perpetual molestation and rapes by her father. Later, as she
grew, her older brother took over where her father had left off.
She had not only been physically raped repeatedly, but her mind
and emotions had been stripped from her individuality, and the
trauma she suffered deprived her of single mindedness. Now, as
an adult, she wondered who she was.
She eventually decided, if she were a man, she couldn't be
raped and no one could hurt her any more. She found a sex change
therapist and began a 2-year counseling process.
Alternate personalities often, although not always, take on
different voice forms. Each personality fragment has a specific
area of the person's life they protect and assists that person by
keeping them from facing the pain and trauma they suffered. Mari
had suffered beyond anything one could imagine as a child and
young teenager. Her mind fragment into alternate personalities to
assist her in coping with the pain that was buried deep inside.
In one of our intercessory prayer sessions, the issue of her
desire for a sex change surfaced as we prayed and a personality
surfaced to explain the details. It was discovered this was not
one of her alternate personalities. This overall idea of a gender
sex change was the result of emotional reasoning, the psycho
dynamics of alternate personalities, and demonic infiltration into
her thinking processes. "If I were a man, nobody could rape me,"
became the dominate theme of her life. A little broken girl grew
up to be a adult woman but the thought of being a man never went
away. The rationalization began to take shape in her mind and was
reinforced by lies she heard from other voices in her thought
consciousness which assisted in forming the thought into reality.
That is, a lie became true because it felt true. At one point,
she even said she learned to urinate so it sounded like a man.
During the sex change therapy process, Mari met someone who led
her to a born again experience with Christ and she immediately
stopped all sex change therapy. Her helpers, alternate
personalities, however, did not go away just because she was born
again.
Many Christian, strong Bible Believers, have a problem with
the concept that God does not save the whole person at the moment
of their salvation experience. If it is true that He did, you
wouldn't be wearing glasses right now. You wouldn't need blood
pressure medications. You wouldn't need your leg set if your leg
were broken because it would never be fractured. You wouldn't
get diabetes or cancer, or shingles, You wouldn't have to get your
hair cut, brush your teeth, trim the hairs in your nose, clip your
toenails and fingernails, you would have no need for warts, moles,
and skin tag removal, or even have the need to wear underarm
deodorant. Last, but not least, we would not have to bury you
because you would never die. This day, by the way, the day of the
resurrection of the righteous dead, is coming. When it happens,
we receive glorified bodies, which will be identical to that of
the body of the Lord Jesus Christ: (See Romans 6:5 and 1 John
3:2), if, that is, you are born again. We won't pass away, brain
cells won't die, and even our minds will be whole and perfect. In
other words, our body, soul, and spirit will be perfectly one and
utterly saved. For now, our bodies need to be taken care of in
all types of physical ways, like eating for example, and our minds
need to be renewed: (See Romans 12:2, 2 Corinthians 4:16,
Ephesians 4:23, and Philippians 3:9-15). So, in short, if you
were born again after a car accident, in which your leg was
broken, you would still need a cast. If you were led to Christ
just before going to the dentist, you would still need your root
canal. If you were killed in a traffic accident but had just
gotten saved the day before, you would go to Heaven instantly but
we'd have to bury your body because your body would be dead. If
you hadn't gotten born again the day before, of course, you'd go
to Hell. Your body, therefore, isn't what goes to Heaven. Not
yet anyhow; that comes later. Your spirit, on the other hand
leave the body the moment we die because that is where the Holy
Spirit of God dwells. Absent from the body and present with the
Lord, (See 2 Corinthians 5:8).
There are three parts to our earthly existence according to
1 Thessalonians 5:23, "And the very God of peace sanctify
you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body
may be preserved blameless to the coming of our Lord Jesus
Christ." Jesus likewise confirmed this trichotomy of human
creation in Matthew 22:37. We know that we have been made a new
creation in Christ at the moment of our salvitic experience
according to 2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore if any man is
in Christ, he is a new creation: old things have passed away;
behold, all things have become new." This is where the
theological disagreement occurs. James even makes it worse by
saying, "Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of
naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which
is able to save your souls," (James 1:21).
"Wait just a minute here. I thought we were "saved" at the
moment of salvation. What is this thing that James is talking
about concerning being saved again?"
He isn't talking about being saved. According to Ephesians
1:13, we receive the Holy Spirit of promise, or the earnest down
payment of our salvation, at the very moment we make Jesus Christ
the Lord of our life. The Holy Spirit dwells within our spirit
because that is the part of us that is made a new creation in
Christ, (2 Corinthians 5:17). The soul and physical body of a
person is not yet born again, or glorified, but must be
disciplined by the engrafted Word. That is the natural
implantation of the Word of God which is the only thing, by the
way, that our newly created spirit can receive or agree with since
it is God's eternal Word. Our soul, or mind, and body, or flesh,
are not yet converted, made anew, and must be disciplined as we
implant God's Word into our lives. The word "saved" which James
employs, is the Greek word from which we get our present day
word, (psyche), or what is generally considered to be the real
you.
At this point, somebody insists that our minds must somehow be
connected with the human spirit because they know their mind isn't
saved, or born again, because of the rotten things upon which they
sometimes allow their minds to dwell. This is correct, that is,
your mind isn't saved. That's why it needs the engrafted Word.
However, since we have the "mind of Christ," (1 Corinthians 2:16),
the human mind, to use a computer term, is interfaced sort of
speak, with the spiritual mind. This is also why we experience
conviction of sin, the leading of the Holy Spirit, and the voice
of God, not to mention the voices of the Enemy trying to invade
our thoughts, because we have a unregenerate mind at this point.
We also have a spiritual mind, (Romans 8:27), and that mind
harmonizes with the natural, or human thoughts and emotions.
People often ask, therefore, what does it mean to "grieve the
Holy Spirit?" Ephesians 4:30). that's easy. It is when the Holy
Spirit, swelling in our newly created spirit through the salvation
experience, is leading us according to God's Holy Word and our
mind is trying to do the opposite, or, trying to ignore the truth
of God's Word. thus, the Holy Spirit is grieve because our body
and mind are violating what is truth to the Holy Spirit. Now you
know why you feel so lousy when you aren't walking with the Lord.
In Mari's case, part of her mind was trying to protect her
from pain. "Become a man and you can't be raped," was the logical
lie of the Evil One. Lies come from only one place, at least
according to Jesus, and that is the father of all lies; Satan,
(John 8:44). No, this does not mean the alternate personality of
Mari was evil. Later, as we prayed, a demonic figure appeared and
tried to regain a foothold in Mari's thinking. Jesus made sure
this would not happen. Do such things like this work? Sure! How
do I know? Well, Mari has a crush on a guy as I write this
testimony. So you tell me. Does it work when a woman, who wanted
to be a guy, now has a crush on a guy? Unless, of course, you
explain this situation by claiming she is gay. In which case,
you'd be dead wrong. Besides, gay girls aren't interested in love
relationship with gay guys. Remember?
I realize that most of you reading this testimony don't have
multiple personalities so what difference does it make to you?
good question. Much of how we act as Christians are based upon
lies we believe about ourselves. Depression, although it can most
certainly be a chemical imbalance in the brain, also is a person
who has lie based thinking. Many people, with whom I pray, are on
medications. They often find, as the lie based thinking is dealt
with by the True Lord Jesus Christ, that their doctor suggests a
reduction in their medications because of their mental and
emotional improvement they have seen in their patient.
Now, what about you? Unable to get rid of that guilt? Why
doesn't that shameful feeling ever completely go away. why does
the old childhood sin keep returning and tormenting you when you
have confessed it to God and asked for His forgiveness hundreds of
timed? Could it be a lie hiding someplace in your life that you
aren't able to see? Why not allow Jesus to expose the lie for
what it is worth for you since He knows exactly where it is?
Freedom is only a prayer away when you hear the truth of the Chief
Shepherd's voice.
Safe Place Fellowship
Phil Scovell
Denver, Colorado USA
Mountain Time Zone
Phone: 303-507-5175
Web: www.SafePlaceFellowship.com
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