Kathy,

You probably hit the nail on the head when you talked about him being a
little boy.  He probably has a little boy inside who has been hurt or
frightened or scared or any numbers of things.  When there is pain, acting
out is a way of solving the pain temporarily.  The other night, Gretchen
came in.  She has to enter through my office to get to her apartment in the
basement.  When she came in, I asked her a simple question, Why don't you
want to pray with me, Gretchen?  She tried to say, I don't know, but I knew
better so I pressed the issue a little.  I reminded her that if she was
believing that God couldn't heal her of everything, she was believing a lie.
I then reminded her when she was healed in our one and only prayer session.
she then said, I guess it is because I don't believe the Lord can fix
everything I have screwed up in my life.  I knew what she was talking about
but I asked her for an example.  She said, Well, for example, just being a
mom.  I've screwed up being a mother and a wife, got divorced, and there
just isn't any way God can fix all those things from my past.  I told her
again that this was a common lie used by the Enemy to keep Christians from
getting healed.  I told her about God's ability, according to Scripture, to
keep all of His promises and that included restoring all we think we lost.
I also explained how this is different for every person because every
person, to the Lord, is uniquely different.  She asked when we could pray
again.  I told her every night when she gets home if she wishes because my
appointments don't start until usually 6:30 each night.  That was last week
and so far it hasn't happened.  I didn't ask Gretchen if she was using again
because I already knew the answer to that question.  I didn't ask if she was
smoking cigarettes, she used to have a 250 dollar a month cigarette habit,
because I already knew the answer to that question.  These things, as well
as many other things, are Gretchen, and Satan's, solution to pain.  The only
problem is, they are the ways of death and sometimes we become so deceived
by the Enemy, we cannot see the truth, or hear it, when it is spoken.
Gretchen and Chris know the truth, they just can't hear it or feel it.
sometimes the tragedy is that they give up on themselves while other times,
that is exactly what needs to occur.  Reason and logic and theology and
doctrine and even love doesn't work.  God does work, however, but they just
can't feel it.  I plan on just continuing to talk to Gretchen, not about
drugs or sex or tobacco or booze or meth or weed or anything other thing
than praying together.  I already know what will happen.  The more healing
they experience, the more they are able to experience the Lord and the more
they are able to hear Him when He speaks to bring truth.  Then the Bible
comes alive in ways they cannot possibly imagine.  I had to turn Gretchen
over to the Lord, as you heard me tell once, and it was the hardest thing I
have ever had to do in my life.  Why?  Because I am a father and I felt like
a failure as a father due to Gretchen and her screwed up life.  That isn't
true, I know that now, but Gretchen may very well think it herself simply
because the Enemy loves to use such lies to keep them trapped.  This is why
Chris wants to go to church, read his Bible, and live for God but he can't
yet.  It isn't because he isn't born again, Gretchen is born again, and I
have no doubt about that.  It is because they have never really seen the God
of the Bible do something for them.  If our children don't kill themselves
in the process, they will experience the Lord and they likely will pass us
by.  Brook has suffered so much, and done so much meth, she has killed lots
of brain cells.  Gretchen is afraid she'll end up like Brook so how does she
deal with that fear?  She does more dope.  Yes, it is stupid and illogical
but we are dealing with the Enemy here and he has always been a liar.  Plus,
he knows how to deceive.  We'll keep praying for them both, Chris and
Gretchen, because that we know works.  Try not to hold on to those little
things such as the hugs and the phone calls even though they are good.  Hold
on to God because He is all we have.  Believe him and not what you try and
feel as signs of hope.  Jesus is your total and complete hope concerning
Chris.  I know you know these things but we all need to hear them sometimes.
You are not doing anything wrong nor have you.  You haven't failed as his
mom or as a Christian or anything else.  So, just keep doing what you are
doing and hold on for the ride.  Jesus has been on this roller coaster
before.

Phil.

Has He Ever Crossed Your Mind?
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