Brad,
Yes, of course, you are right.  I just tend to be one of those open, 
midwestern people who like to blather.  You know, we are known for 
going deep into friendships quickly.  I think that part of the reason 
that I share so much is because I now live in the northeast where 
people don't share at all.  I get so tired of hearing about all 
those, "unspoken," prayer requests.  Hey maybe I should put that on 
my Christian ese list!  GRIN!  Of course, only share what you are 
comfortable with.   In my case, I just happen to write novellas, 
that's all!  GRIN!
Kathy


At 12:30 AM 1/23/2006, you wrote:
>Kathy,
>
>We voted and you were one vote short of a quarum to being tossed off
>hahahahaha. Nah I am 100% kidding here y'all. That is what this list is for
>support, prayer, discussing life issues and etc. when they come up. I think
>we can learn from other's situations as well. I never got tired of hearing
>your postings. I do want to clarify one thing however that my wife and I
>were talking about earlier today that    tends to occur in her Bible study.
>Of course as a group they ask for prayer for folks, however she noticed
>that folks would in essence be gossiping under the guise of asking for
>prayer. Something like asking for prayer for their neighbor who is really
>going through a rough time, her husband is cheating on her with the woman
>he works with and she's pregnant but they don't know who's baby it is, if
>it their neighbors illegitimate child or this woman's husband who
>is  separated from her and now this woman's neighbor found out her husband
>is leasing an apartment and lied about whether the woman he's having an
>affair with is going to be living with him after all... and on and on and
>on and on and on.
>
>I just wanted to clarify that intimate details aren't necessary, I mean
>there is a point of which more detail doesn't give more to pray for, but
>also  it seemed in your case Kathy, you didn't give every detail yet gave
>in areas which were particularly bothersome. So it wasn't gossip or the
>like, but support and venting in a safe place. I just thought I better
>clarify my original post to Angel as for her situation and etc. I certainly
>enjoyed to see the victories in your life when you were building the house
>and even before that, and I feel I know you better as a net-friend because
>of it, but I wouldn't want people to post uncomfortably.  I hope I said
>that coherently enough without being too redundant.
>
>Brad
>
>
>At 05:06 PM 1/22/2006 -0500, you wrote:
> >Brad and Angel,
> >          Brad, excellent post here and good advice for
> >Angel:  especially the part about sharing. Good grief!  I'm amazed
> >that I haven't been thrown off the list for all the whining that I've
> >done over the years about the house and Chris and so on and so forth,
> >but sharing my life has helped me to bare it, especially since I know
> >that I'm not just spinning my wheels, but sharing with people who
> >will take my situation to the Lord in prayer and carry the load with
> >me.  I am so grateful to have that.  Share away Angel.  We are praying for
> >you!
> >Kathy
> >
> >
> >At 08:16 AM 1/21/2006, you wrote:
> > >Angel,
> > >
> > >What is your son's name if you don't mind me asking?   Also perhaps, and
> > >this is of course up to you no pressure of any sort, perhaps you 
> would find
> > >it helpful to post some of your frustrations and etc. here for prayer and
> > >support? I don't say that to put my, or anyone else's nose in 
> your business
> > >and certainly you will not invoke any offense if you choose not to, but
> > >sometimes writing stuff out even helps, as well just confiding in other
> > >folks that have experienced similar or can offer some sort of help if no
> > >other than moral support at times.  If not here on list perhaps privately
> > >with anyone willing to lend an ear.   Kathy seemed to find some support
> > >here with Chris, as do we all when we have an issue. I don't 
> know that much
> > >about your situation other than you have a 15 year old son who is in
> > >rebellion and carelessness, a husband incapacitated due to Altz Imers
> > >Disease, have a job and seem well read Biblically.  I got to tell ya, you
> > >bear a heavy load having to be both parents, hold down a job, the
> > >household, and dealing with all but loss of your husband due to his
> > >situation. Having  offered that if you don't mind me saying I 
> have a couple
> > >of comments. While your son might be in a rebellious stage, he is also 15
> > >years old. I remember my son at that age and even myself for that matter.
> > >My mom would tell me to do something and I'd not do it. Not out of
> > >rebellion because I really wasn't rebellious for reasons I'll not bore you
> > >with here, but it was more the stage I was in of forgetfulness, busyness
> > >and etc. Friends and beginning to break free a bit was more the reason. My
> > >son is 19 years old and still I have to double check on some 
> things when we
> > >ask him to do something around here, but he I think has got it down now,
> > >finally *smile*. There could be some things he is dealing with as well
> > >regarding your husband's situation, feelings of being cheated in a way,
> > >perhaps a lack of authority he can buck against to find the boundaries of
> > >behavior since as you noted, he can push your buttons. These I think are
> > >natural things kids go through and can yes seem as though they are mean,
> > >selfish and careless. You are looking at it from a parent 
> standpoint of now
> > >being a single parent yet with the responsibility and pain of seeing your
> > >husband's situation, hold down a job, and to do everything else 
> one must do
> > >in life paying bills, dishes, wash, etc. and you are probably thinking, or
> > >had thought,  due to the situation it is time to pull together and rise to
> > >the occasion and handle this thing in life. And when it doesn't happen you
> > >get frustrated, mad, appalled perhaps how your son could be so selfish and
> > >mean, caring  not at all about what needs to happen around the house and
> > >etc. While your son on the other hand is looking at it from a young man or
> > >boy, a family that has been torn apart due to health issues. A 
> dad he can't
> > >toss a ball around the yard with, learn to drive, or have a father -son
> > >talk with now and again,  or for that matter, to step up and be the strong
> > >authority which he knows he can't get by. I'm not saying you 
> aren't strong,
> > >but you mentioned he has found the combination to your buttons to where he
> > >can beat you mentally. Many times the dynamics of two parents is one can
> > >play the compassionate one yet still siding with the other 
> parent while the
> > >other is the jerk and making the demands. That is just how it works
> > >sometimes. Sort of the old saying "Wait until your father gets 
> home". There
> > >is that fear of how dad will react and it is that fear that helps keep
> > >things in check. Not that dads ought be feared overall, I think 
> you know my
> > >point. So your son is maybe feeling as though he is lacking that 
> brick wall
> > >he knows he can't get passed.   They will never admit it, but 
> they look for
> > >and rely on that solid discipline in order to be secure and stable as
> > >well.  Getting yourself so upset no is not good, perhaps it is high blood
> > >pressure, perhaps it is just mind overload.  Easier said than done I know,
> > >but for your sake and your son's  it would be good to not let the buttons
> > >be pushed. I know, I know, I've tried this with my wife in the 
> past when we
> > >went through some rough times, and it is not easy, but it does bring a
> > >strength and change of dynamics to the relationship that works to the
> > >positive the more one tries. Even if the buttons are pushed, perhaps just
> > >backing away from the situation before you say or do the things you don't
> > >want. Also off cuff here, and I haven't thought of it much here, but what
> > >about finding a saragot father figure such as an uncle or 
> someone who might
> > >be willing to serve as a strong hold, someone you are declaring 
> to your son
> > >which he is accountable to. It would go over like a lead balloon and
> > >perhaps not work, but perhaps it would, I don't know, it was 
> just a thought
> > >towards changing what might potentially be a problem in your son's life.
> > >Anyway, I and others I'm sure will be praying for you.  Whether or not you
> > >feel like it, just from what I know of your posts here in the 
> past, you are
> > >a very strong woman and obviously very reliant on God for your situation.
> > >As hard as it is at times with your son and husband, realize you are doing
> > >your best, and from what  it seems, you are doing a noble job holding it
> > >all  together and raising your son during a stretching time  of his life
> > >where even in a picket fence situation there would be normal challenges.
> > >
> > >Brad
>
>Brad
>
>    Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it