No Brad,
I have already settled in my mind that I will never say, "I told you
so." That wouldn't get me any place or move the relationship
forward. What I do wonder though is, will there ever be a place to
be able to talk to him about his manipulative behavior toward us? At
times, I wish that I could tell him two things.
1. I wish that I could tell him that we love him no matter
what. That doesn't mean that we like what he does, or that we will
support his decisions, for example, moving in with his girl friends
family, but we will always love him.
2. I wish that I could tell him that it hurts to be treated in a
manipulative way. Chris is nice to us when he wants something. He's
a first class charmer, but then, when he has no use for us, we don't
even hear from him at all. I feel so used. It feels like he is
trying to play at my heart strings for all they are worth. It feels
like he'd be happy to just wring me dry and then move on to some new victim.
I am in constant prayer about, the next time he calls. I constanly
am praying that I'll be Christ like in my manner and not start saying
what, I as a human want to say. I constantly pray about this because
his calls come out of the blue. I always want to be prepared. I did
tell Chris that I love him today, even though I had figured out by
the end of the call that the only reason that he was calling at all
was to see if he had received his replacement license yet. The part
that I wonder about is the second point. Would it do any good to try
to address the fact that we just don't like feeling manipulated all
the time? I mean, I struggle with, if I don't say anything about it,
will he just think he's really smart and he has us wrapped around his
finger? I kind of want him to know that we know what he is doing,
but that we are choosing to respond in a loving rather than vengeful
way anyway. But, if I let him know this, will it just make him
defensive and set our relationship back even further? I guess that
there is some pride in me that doesn't want him to get away with
letting him think that he's taking us for a ride and yet, I wonder
if, being humble and loving is just letting him go ahead and think
that as long as I know that it isn't true.
Is this making sense? This is one of those times that I feel
like I'm being very unclear and saying a whole lot of nothing, so if
you need to ask clarifying questions, go ahead. As you can see, my
brane is running in circles and I am not thinking quite straight on
this point yet.
Sign me,
confused in Maine
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