Sharon,
This is great!
Virgie and Hoshi
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Sharon Hooley" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, February 21, 2006 7:06 PM
Subject: Click Here Blues (this is good.)


> Hi guys!
>
> got this from the Access Comp List.
>
> sharon
>
> Click Here Blues
>
> I'm feeling so low; I can look up at my shoes.
>> My sanity, Babe, I'm about to lose.
>> You want to know why? I'll give you the news.
>> Baby, I done got the "click here" blues.
>> I had me a problem with my student loan.
>> I needed some help, so I picked up the phone.
>> I spent maybe four or five minutes on hold,
>> While the tape about the company's website told.
>> It kept saying "go to our website."
>> We can sure help you there.
>> You'll get the fastest service you can find anywhere.
>> Go to WWW; click here; log in.
>> It's easy and fast and besides, its in.
>> But I wanted a human being to help me with this.
>> I don't want some fancy website; I don't need all this.
>> Please let me talk to someone
>> You know what I mean?
>> I want to work with a human;
>> I don't want no machine.
>> So I sat me on hold for twenty minutes more.
>> Then, I finally got a human; darn near fell on the floor.
>> But when I tried to tell her what my problem was,
>> She said to me so sweetly,
>> That's what our website does.
>> We can't help you here.
>> You need to go online.
>> It's the in thing to do Dear.
>> And it sure works fine.
>> So, here's a password for you.
>> Have a wonderful day.
>> Then she hung up on me;
>> There was nothing more I could say.
>> So, I went up to their website.
>> There were "click heres" everywhere.
>> Edit and combo boxes ;
>> and I was pulling out my hair.
>> The password's not a word at all;
>> It's a combo I can't believe.
>> And I have to type it a certain way;
>> Or the site will tell me to leave.
>> I threw away my computer and I went to Woody's Bar.
>> I wanted me a strong drink, but I didn't get that far.
>> At each place on the bar, right where I'd set a beer,
>> There were computer monitors which said,
>> Would you like a Miller?  Click here.
>> So I just turned around and went home again.
>> It was about half past five.
>> My wife was fixing dinner.
>> Company was about to arrive.
>> Then she said, "Come see our new microwave."
>> "It's on the counter over here."
>> "You don't need a timer to cook things in it."
>> "You just point to what you want and click here."
>> I done lost my mind.
>> And they put me away.
>> Out here on the funny farm.
>> Been here sinse last Friday.
>> But I ain't getting much rest.
>> Why is perfectly clear.
>> When I went to lunch they told me,
>> Just take what you want, then click here.
>> I can't believe we've come to this.
>> Where are the humans? Where?
>> There's no one around to help you anymore.
>> You're just told to click here or click there.
>> And when you complain or rave, it don't do you any good.
>> They just keep saying "click here;" "click here." It's like they're made
>> of
>> wood.
>> I sure hope the afterlife is nothing like this space.
>> I hope it's nice and simple with no click heres all over the place. But I
>> can just imagine how it will be at the pearly gates as I draw near. I'll
>> probably see some sign that says, Want to come in? Click here.