As friends, I know I feel more comfortable with that, and I apologize for
giving the wrong message without properly thinking that one through.
That'll teach me to toss a response without thought and prayer. Thank you
Kathy for being the goody two sho.... errrrrrr... straightening us out on
that one  lol. Accountability. Isn't it great among us, and yet not have
judgment or offense.

Brad


At 12/21/2003 on Sunday, Rhonda wrote:
>Thanks for sharing! I appreciate your story.   I will see what I can do
>tomorrow, I do like doing things by myself, I don't mind help, but I
>feel so much more independent when I can accompolish something on my
>own.
>I think I will make a reservation for Tuesday with paratransit and go to
>the hospital myself,  I have gone to the room several times with
>Christa, and if I get lost, there are always people around.
>Rhonda
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Kathy Du Bois" <[log in to unmask]>
>To: <[log in to unmask]>
>Sent: Sunday, December 21, 2003 6:53 PM
>Subject: Re: parent question
>
>
> > Helen, Paul, Matt, Rhonda,
> > I have a similar situation that I want to share in hopes that it may
>shed
> > some light on the thought processes of sighted children who have
>parents
> > with disabilities. At least this is how I've experienced it myself.
>I'm
> > not saying that this is true in every case. I've raised four kids
>though
> > and what I learned from my first experience I applied to the rest and
>it
> > seems to have helped. I'm not saying that this is everyone's
>experience,
> > but it is mine and I thought that it might be worth sharing.
> > I home schooled our oldest son, Matt, until third grade. I had braille
> > materials and he learned print. After he learned to read, I started
> > asking him to tell me what we had received in the mail. I thought that
>he
> > would feel grown up and I liked not having to wait for Greg to get
>home
> > and tell me. This was way before we even owned a computer, not to
>mention
> > a scanner, so I really appreciated this convenience. Unfortunately,
>this
> > really brought home to Matthew that he could do something that I
>couldn't
> > and he really started to become arogant! How about that? I had tauht
>him
> > and he turned it against me. We really had to work at getting the
> > relationship back in to a proper perspective, with me in authority and
> > him in respectful submission. He realized that he could do something
>that
> > I couldn't and that made him feel superior.
> > A car is a much more serious matter than print. Rhonda is really
> > vulnerable in this situation. First of all, I can understand her
>wanting
> > to believe that her daughter really saw yellow, but she is only
>fifteen
> > and she doesn't have the driving experience to judge just how long a
> > yellow light lasts. It is the shortest part of the traffic light
>cycle.
> > There was certainly something about her driving that caught the
> > policeman's attention, but Rhonda doesn't know what. I can't say this
> > about another person's child, but I know that my kids would not be
>above
> > lying to get out of blame in a situation like that. It's human nature,
> > but Rhonda really doesn't know. Krista has known intellectually all of
> > her life that Rhonda can't drive, just as my son knew that I couldn't
> > read print, but when they accomplish something like that it gives them
> > the sense of passing us by in ability, and it has to be a real head
>rush
> > no matter how good the kid is. It just makes sense. Couple that with a
> > teenagers natural instinct to fly away and become independent and the
> > natural belief that they seem to have that they can handle anything
>and
> > it seems obvious that there could be some real power struggles coming
> > down the road.
> > For this reason, I try very hard not to be dependent on my kids. I try
>to
> > find other ways to have other adults help me whenever possible. I feel
> > that, this way, I am showing my kids that I am a capable person who
>can
> > get around my blindness and they don't have to be tied down because of
>it
> > either. If they offer to help because they want to work with me that's
> > fine, but we don't have that as an expectation on either side.
> > I know that this isn't easy, but that's why it's so important to get
> > connected.
> > Kathy
> >
> > ________________________________________________________________
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