Hi guys,
Well, I'm headed to Portland today for a honey moon with my
sweety. It's nine hours and counting. I can't
wait. Unfortunately, The situation is a bit concerning because Matt
had a small car accident last night and we're kind of leaving him to
have to work things out. I have little clue what to do and Greg has
to give directions by phone so this will definitely be a maturing
experience for Matt, to say the least. Matt is fine. The car
appears to have sustained only front end damage. Who knows what this
will do to our car insurance. Greg has called a member of the
congregation to go with Matt to look at the car and decide what to do
from there. Right now, it is in the parking lot where Matt
works. He feels aweful, but like I told him, I'm just glad he's
okay. He's irreplaceable.
What I'm really praising God for is how well both Greg and I stayed
calm through the whole thing and got our priorities correct in
putting our son's life above the car. I think that, earlier, we
would have been a little more judgmental, but having gone through
what we have been through with Chris has really helped us to see more
clearly what is important and what is unimportant.
By the way, I had a nice long talk with Chris again this week. He
is really itching to get together with us, but I had to put him off
because of scheduling and so forth. This was good because he sees
very clearly that we are treating him as an adult and not just
clinging to him and connecting with him on his terms. He did go down
and take is pre-test for preparing for his G.E.D. studies. He's
wishing that he could get out of his relationship with Nicki, but he
is afraid that she will kill herself if he breaks it off. He is
feeling resigned to his fate of having to marry her because they've
had sex, and I was able to talk with him about God's forgiveness and
Grace and how God is the God of second chances. I talked about him
taking the time to find himself and do some deep soul searching and
he was kind of shocked. He asked me if I had been talking to his
last therapist. I assured him that I had not, but he was amazed
that, without collusion, we had both been saying the same things. He
seems to be really thinking now. I think that he is regreting some
of his choices. He said that if it hadn't been for Nicki, he'd
probably still be home and in school and driving and more on
track. This helped confirm for me, however, a decision that Greg and
I had already made that we will probably not let him come home, even
if he asks. At a distance, Chris treats us with respect, and we do
better at keeping our opinions to ourselves. It is very hard not to
slip back into the parent child relationship when an adult child
moves back home for a season. We've seen that in our relationship
with Matt. Old patterns are very hard to break. While I'll miss
Matt, I'm glad that he's moving back to Michigan this June. It is
good for both boys to continue to strive for independence and adulthood.
Well guys, I'm off for a wonderful weekend. Please just pray for
safety for all of us.
God's peace to you all!
Kathy
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