Kathy,
We voted and you were one vote short of a quarum to being tossed off
hahahahaha. Nah I am 100% kidding here y'all. That is what this list is for
support, prayer, discussing life issues and etc. when they come up. I think
we can learn from other's situations as well. I never got tired of hearing
your postings. I do want to clarify one thing however that my wife and I
were talking about earlier today that tends to occur in her Bible study.
Of course as a group they ask for prayer for folks, however she noticed
that folks would in essence be gossiping under the guise of asking for
prayer. Something like asking for prayer for their neighbor who is really
going through a rough time, her husband is cheating on her with the woman
he works with and she's pregnant but they don't know who's baby it is, if
it their neighbors illegitimate child or this woman's husband who
is separated from her and now this woman's neighbor found out her husband
is leasing an apartment and lied about whether the woman he's having an
affair with is going to be living with him after all... and on and on and
on and on and on.
I just wanted to clarify that intimate details aren't necessary, I mean
there is a point of which more detail doesn't give more to pray for, but
also it seemed in your case Kathy, you didn't give every detail yet gave
in areas which were particularly bothersome. So it wasn't gossip or the
like, but support and venting in a safe place. I just thought I better
clarify my original post to Angel as for her situation and etc. I certainly
enjoyed to see the victories in your life when you were building the house
and even before that, and I feel I know you better as a net-friend because
of it, but I wouldn't want people to post uncomfortably. I hope I said
that coherently enough without being too redundant.
Brad
At 05:06 PM 1/22/2006 -0500, you wrote:
>Brad and Angel,
> Brad, excellent post here and good advice for
>Angel: especially the part about sharing. Good grief! I'm amazed
>that I haven't been thrown off the list for all the whining that I've
>done over the years about the house and Chris and so on and so forth,
>but sharing my life has helped me to bare it, especially since I know
>that I'm not just spinning my wheels, but sharing with people who
>will take my situation to the Lord in prayer and carry the load with
>me. I am so grateful to have that. Share away Angel. We are praying for
>you!
>Kathy
>
>
>At 08:16 AM 1/21/2006, you wrote:
> >Angel,
> >
> >What is your son's name if you don't mind me asking? Also perhaps, and
> >this is of course up to you no pressure of any sort, perhaps you would find
> >it helpful to post some of your frustrations and etc. here for prayer and
> >support? I don't say that to put my, or anyone else's nose in your business
> >and certainly you will not invoke any offense if you choose not to, but
> >sometimes writing stuff out even helps, as well just confiding in other
> >folks that have experienced similar or can offer some sort of help if no
> >other than moral support at times. If not here on list perhaps privately
> >with anyone willing to lend an ear. Kathy seemed to find some support
> >here with Chris, as do we all when we have an issue. I don't know that much
> >about your situation other than you have a 15 year old son who is in
> >rebellion and carelessness, a husband incapacitated due to Altz Imers
> >Disease, have a job and seem well read Biblically. I got to tell ya, you
> >bear a heavy load having to be both parents, hold down a job, the
> >household, and dealing with all but loss of your husband due to his
> >situation. Having offered that if you don't mind me saying I have a couple
> >of comments. While your son might be in a rebellious stage, he is also 15
> >years old. I remember my son at that age and even myself for that matter.
> >My mom would tell me to do something and I'd not do it. Not out of
> >rebellion because I really wasn't rebellious for reasons I'll not bore you
> >with here, but it was more the stage I was in of forgetfulness, busyness
> >and etc. Friends and beginning to break free a bit was more the reason. My
> >son is 19 years old and still I have to double check on some things when we
> >ask him to do something around here, but he I think has got it down now,
> >finally *smile*. There could be some things he is dealing with as well
> >regarding your husband's situation, feelings of being cheated in a way,
> >perhaps a lack of authority he can buck against to find the boundaries of
> >behavior since as you noted, he can push your buttons. These I think are
> >natural things kids go through and can yes seem as though they are mean,
> >selfish and careless. You are looking at it from a parent standpoint of now
> >being a single parent yet with the responsibility and pain of seeing your
> >husband's situation, hold down a job, and to do everything else one must do
> >in life paying bills, dishes, wash, etc. and you are probably thinking, or
> >had thought, due to the situation it is time to pull together and rise to
> >the occasion and handle this thing in life. And when it doesn't happen you
> >get frustrated, mad, appalled perhaps how your son could be so selfish and
> >mean, caring not at all about what needs to happen around the house and
> >etc. While your son on the other hand is looking at it from a young man or
> >boy, a family that has been torn apart due to health issues. A dad he can't
> >toss a ball around the yard with, learn to drive, or have a father -son
> >talk with now and again, or for that matter, to step up and be the strong
> >authority which he knows he can't get by. I'm not saying you aren't strong,
> >but you mentioned he has found the combination to your buttons to where he
> >can beat you mentally. Many times the dynamics of two parents is one can
> >play the compassionate one yet still siding with the other parent while the
> >other is the jerk and making the demands. That is just how it works
> >sometimes. Sort of the old saying "Wait until your father gets home". There
> >is that fear of how dad will react and it is that fear that helps keep
> >things in check. Not that dads ought be feared overall, I think you know my
> >point. So your son is maybe feeling as though he is lacking that brick wall
> >he knows he can't get passed. They will never admit it, but they look for
> >and rely on that solid discipline in order to be secure and stable as
> >well. Getting yourself so upset no is not good, perhaps it is high blood
> >pressure, perhaps it is just mind overload. Easier said than done I know,
> >but for your sake and your son's it would be good to not let the buttons
> >be pushed. I know, I know, I've tried this with my wife in the past when we
> >went through some rough times, and it is not easy, but it does bring a
> >strength and change of dynamics to the relationship that works to the
> >positive the more one tries. Even if the buttons are pushed, perhaps just
> >backing away from the situation before you say or do the things you don't
> >want. Also off cuff here, and I haven't thought of it much here, but what
> >about finding a saragot father figure such as an uncle or someone who might
> >be willing to serve as a strong hold, someone you are declaring to your son
> >which he is accountable to. It would go over like a lead balloon and
> >perhaps not work, but perhaps it would, I don't know, it was just a thought
> >towards changing what might potentially be a problem in your son's life.
> >Anyway, I and others I'm sure will be praying for you. Whether or not you
> >feel like it, just from what I know of your posts here in the past, you are
> >a very strong woman and obviously very reliant on God for your situation.
> >As hard as it is at times with your son and husband, realize you are doing
> >your best, and from what it seems, you are doing a noble job holding it
> >all together and raising your son during a stretching time of his life
> >where even in a picket fence situation there would be normal challenges.
> >
> >Brad
Brad
Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it
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