Rhonda, you said,
> What can be said for me then?
>

You aren't alone either.  Lots of people on this list understand your
feelings of blindness, too, and your feelings of wishfulness, that is, you
could do something about it.  These are normal feelings but can also be
associated with other things that cause the pain to be even worse at times.
I know it feels pretty lonely for you, Rhonda.  I am always amazed at how we
can have people all around us and yet feel lonely.  That always has a
source, an original source, and sometimes it is amazing where it started.

Phil.