What a choice to have to make. Right or wrong, my son, whose only vice I
know of is lacking discipline and direction or plans for his life, is well
aware that if he isn't planning on bettering his life in a goal, or
education or whatever tangible plan to the betterment of his life, he'll
have to find a place of his own to live? Why? because as I told him that it
is my last bit of leverage to help bring him to manhood and stop enabling
him to hang out at the skate park or over at his buddies place on campus
and squander his earnings. If he is forced to be out on his own, he'll soon
learn what it is to be responsible for his self and etc. We've taught him
the moves to swim and it is time to jump in the water. I believe he is
seriously looking at a February move in date with a buddy of his. He
understands we're not kicking him out, but helping him move to another
level. He admits he is afraid of change, and the best way to rid the fear
is to face it and move in spite of it. I think a certain bit of his
independent self would like to be free of mom and dad too. So, with that,
how much more reason you would have to not be an enabler of Gretchen's
issues, to enable her to continue blatently abusing in the safety of the
nest. Plus the fact of your need to watch your own goods in your own house
as well as the verbal and nonverbal conflict. I am of the belief many times
such behavior is geared towards the folks they know will always love them,
and in their mind love equals bailing them out, but there is a difference.
Sometimes love says, sleep in the bed you made and then find one that
better suits you when you get tired of that one. If my son fails and gets
into trouble, will I let him come back? Sure probably once anyway. But with
proof he again shows tangible evidences he is working towards getting
himself out of whatever situation that would have caused him to return, and
if not? I guess out he goes again as hard as it would be at the time, I
know the alternative is not helping him any.

Brad



At 05:55 PM 12/18/2005 -0700, you wrote:
>They may want to turn me in if I get a gun.  Not really, but I am just about
>to the point that we need to decide if we want to live the rest of our lives
>centered around conflicts with Gretchen or not.  As long as she is here, she
>will steal, there will be lying and conflict.

Brad

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