Hello Phil,
I know it can't be easy for any parent to put their child out of their home.
Nobody is perfect who lives on this earth right now.
It is easy for us outsiders to say oh I would make her leave no matter what.
When there are grandchildren involved it is not that simple to do.  It would
be tough enough to make Gretchen move if there were no kids but because they
are living there it is a difficult thing to do.
Fortunately we do not have to be perfect in the sight of our Lord and
Saviour Jesus Christ.  We can offer advise but we cannot make those
decisions for you.
What I feel we can offer is our prayers and our love and support.  My
thoughts and prayers are with you and Sandy and also with Kathy and Greg.
We love you guys perfect or not, and believe me, none of us are perfect
either.
Huggs and blessings.
Virgie and Hoshi
----- Original Message -----
From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, December 18, 2005 5:09 PM
Subject: Re: The Beginning of Christmas


>I agree with, and have done, the first two Brad suggested.  Gretchen lived
> here with a car she wasn't paying for any longer for months until, one
> night, they found her and towed her car and repossessed it.  We never did
> anything about that one.  After all, my name wasn't on it so who cares.
>
> The Second was hard but Gretchen, after leaving her family, lived
> everywhere
> with everybody.  We did not offer her a place to live.  She was 24 years
> old; why should I.  I was already taking care of her children so she could
> get high, get arrested, go to jail, get an abortion, and a lot of other
> things, like sleeping with every Tom, dick, and Harry.  She was sleeping
> with a bar tender for awhile and I got his number.  Calling over there one
> morning to find out where my grandchildren were, he answered and refused
> to
> allow me to speak to her.  I told him who I was.  He still said no.  I
> told
> him that I knew who he was and where he was and that if he didn't put my
> daughter on the phone right now, I was coming to visit him and I would
> then
> get to talk with my daughter.  He said, nobody talks to me that way.  I
> said, I just did now put Gretchen on the phone.  He hung up.  I called
> back
> and left a very polite message, which had something to do with the police
> or
> something, but it was nice and very Christian in nature, and Gretchen
> called
> me right back.  Bingo.  I gave her five seconds to get my grandchildren
> out
> of this man's house and told her I would go to court and get them both if
> she ever took them any place like that again.  We got the kids and she
> continued sleeping in different places almost nightly.
>
> the third one is the hardest.  I haven't been very good about handling the
> third way without comment.  I have literally, in front of her two little
> boys, body forced her from the house.  The boys were crying, I was crying,
> and it was not pretty.  I talked to the boys and explained what happened
> and
> why.  Gretchen was very likely stoned on coke at the time, too.  The boys
> calmed down and they said they understood but it must have been horrible
> for
> them because it was for me.  Gretchen doesn't leave peaceably ever.  she
> screams and yells and acts crazy and I get tired of the games.  So,
> forgive
> me for only getting two out of three.  I wish I could be perfect.
> thankfully, I serve someone who is perfect and understands when I'm not.
>
> Phil.
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "MV" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Sunday, December 18, 2005 2:05 PM
> Subject: Re: The Beginning of Christmas
>
>
>> Kathy,
>>
>> I've got some answers for you if you care to consider them... You
>> asked...
>>
>> >Question #1: what should we do if Chris shows up in a borrowed car next
>> >weekend when we know that, in order to drive, he was doing it illegally
>> >since he doesn't have insurance and he hasn't replaced his license.
>>
>>
>> Answer: Nothing. He's not your responsibility. Offering a solution will
>> only crank the aggravation machine.
>>
>> Question #2: what do we do if, next Sunday, after dinner, he tells us he
>> has no place to go because he hasn't paid the rent?
>>
>> Answer: Nothing. He's not your responsibility. Offering a solution will
>> only crank the aggravation machine.
>>
>> >Question #3:   I'm wondering how I will deal with my anger if  he wants
> to
>> >leave as soon as he gets his presents, or if he is ungrateful because we
>> >didn't get him what he wanted, or didn't spend enough on him.
>>
>> Answer: Nothing. He's not your responsibility. Offering a solution will
>> only crank the aggravation machine.
>>
>> There seems to be a pattern here *smile*.
>>
>> Brad
>>
>>
>> --
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>>
>>