Is this an exaggeration, or do you think all this would happen if Noah lived
in the United States today?
Smiles,
Sharon
----- Original Message -----
From: "Pat Ferguson" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, October 25, 2005 9:24 AM
Subject: Noah in 2005
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>> Noah in 2005
>>
>>In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the
>>United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
>>over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
>>Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good
>>humans."
>>He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark
>>before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
>>
>>Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -
>>but no completed Ark.
>>"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
>>
>>"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a
>>building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a
>>sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood
>>zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height
>>limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
>>
>>Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the
>>future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to
>>clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea
>>would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
>>Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees
>>in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
>>environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
>>
>>When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
>>They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They
>>argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and
>>inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
>>
>>Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an
>>environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
>>I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission
>>on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
>>Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most
>>of the people who want to work.
>>
>>The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only
>>Union workers with Ark-building experience.
>>To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying
>>to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
>>So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish
>>this Ark."
>>
>>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
>>stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean
>>you're not going to destroy the world?"
>>"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
>>
>>
>>
>>Larry Campbell
>>
>>
>><http://us.lrd.yahoo.com/_ylc=X3oDMTFqODRtdXQ4BF9TAzMyOTc1MDIEX3MDOTY2ODgxNjkEcG9zAzEEc2VjA21haWwtZm9vdGVyBHNsawNmYw--/SIG=110oav78o/**http%3a//farechase.yahoo.com/>Yahoo!
>>FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.
>
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> <html>
> <body>
> <blockquote type=cite class=cite cite="">
> <dl>
> <dd><font face="arial" size=2> Noah in
> 2005</i></font><font face="georgia" size=2><br><br>
>
> <dd>In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the
> United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked
> and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.</i><br>
>
> <dd>Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few
> good humans."</i><br>
>
> <dd>He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build
> the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40
> nights."</i><br><br>
>
> <dd>Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
> yard - but no completed Ark.<br>
>
> <dd>"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where
> is the Ark?"</i><br><br>
>
> <dd>"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have
> changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector
> about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've
> violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and
> exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal
> Board for a decision.</i><br><br>
>
> <dd>Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for
> the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions,
> to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the
> sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.</i><br>
>
> <dd>Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
> trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
> environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no
> go!<br><br>
>
> <dd>When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued
> me.<br>
>
> <dd>They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
> They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and
> inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.<br><br>
>
> <dd>Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd
> conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.</i><br>
>
> <dd>I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights
> Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building
> crew.<br>
>
> <dd>Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of
> most of the people who want to work.<br><br>
>
> <dd>The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
> only Union workers with Ark-building experience.<br>
>
> <dd>To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm
> trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.<br>
>
> <dd>So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to
> finish this Ark."</i><br><br>
>
> <dd>Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
> stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You
> mean you're not going to destroy the world?"<br>
>
> <dd>"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to
> it."<br>
> </b></font><br>
>
> </dl><br><br>
> <font face="Comic Sans MS" size=4 color="#FF7F00">Larry Campbell<br>
> </font><br>
> <br>
> <a
> href="http://us.lrd.yahoo.com/_ylc=X3oDMTFqODRtdXQ4BF9TAzMyOTc1MDIEX3MDOTY2ODgxNjkEcG9zAzEEc2VjA21haWwtZm9vdGVyBHNsawNmYw--/SIG=110oav78o/**http%3a//farechase.yahoo.com/">Yahoo!
> FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.</a>
> </blockquote></body>
> </html>
>
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