Kathy,
I have not been where you are either but I have experienced having to lead a
service and act as if everything was fine when my heart was breaking.
Back in 1972 (sound like an old man about to tell a story?) while I was
pastor at Cleveland Avenue Christian Church, my wife who had a dependency on
prescribed drugs, after 18 day in the hospital witha blood clott in her
lung, knowing that she would die, took tons of pills.  I don't know if she
intentionally did it or had taken so many that she didn't know what she was
doing.  I had been up all night with her, changing the bed and washing
sheets and was just about done in.  It was Wednesday and I had to lead and
teach the service that night in our Bible study.  I called a nurse friend of
ours who came over and stayed with my wife while I went to service.  I was
just about to fall apart because of the hurt for my wife and the concern
that I could loose her.  It was about the hardest thing I have ever done but
the Lord who is faithful saw me through it and got my wife out of the hole
too.  Praise Him.  Remember, Jesus, the same today, tomorrow and forever.

Love and hugs while praying,

Ned