Hey Phil,
I"m sorry that this devotional  bothered you.  I can tell that it struck
deep.  Sorry about that.  I'm curious though, how do you respond to the
fact that God does use depressed people:  charles Spurgen for example.  He
was really in the depths, but look at what he accomplished with his
ministry!  I'd love to here your thoughts.

I personally resonated with the thought in this message  that "Its not
about me!"  In todays selfish society, I think that even we Christians
forget that.  We loose sight of the fact that there is a bigger purpose and
a master plan because we don't necessarily like our part in it.  This
devotional helped me to remember that and shift my focus accordingly.
Kathy



At 02:50 PM 5/3/2005, you wrote:
>This one most certainly will draw fire but here goes nothing and I do mean
>nothing.
>
>Color me cynical but I don't get where the victory is in that devotional.  I
>know what depression is from first hand experience, as well as suicidal
>tendencies, and depressed
>people, truly depressed people, suicidal people, get no joy or comfort or
>pleasure whatsoever out of fighting for their life every day and then trying
>to encourage others that they can make it because you are making it.  I know
>for a fact that truly depressed people have little, if any, interest in
>trying to encourage everybody that they can make it when they, themselves,
>know they aren't.  Listen, I am for anything that encourages
>somebody where they are at any given moment, so if that devotional
>encouraged you, thank God for that.  If you have to fight and struggle and
>work every day at trying to be what God has made you to be, then you aren't
>living; you are just existing.  That's no life.  It is also no fun.  Man, if
>that guy knows a suicidal depressed pastor who is able to overcome his own
>suicidal tendencies and his own depression by simply ministering to and
>encouraging others that they can make it, that pastor sure doesn't need
>Jesus to be the Lord of his life.  He's doing a pretty good job without the
>Lord.  Like I said, color me critical and cynical but I'll bet my last
>Baptist dime, plus I'll eat my cowboy hat with mustard on it, if that pastor
>makes it through the rest of his life without blowing his brains out.  What
>an incredible sad testimony when victory, real victory, is just on the other
>side of the
>darkness in which he lives every day.  That's like one blind person saying
>to another blind person, well, I am making it so you can.  If you believe
>that one, you're a better man, or woman, than I am.  I guess it really makes
>the whole thing easier for God if we are are exactly alike.  that way He
>doesn't have to individualize anything just for you or just for me.  Do we
>just want to feel better because suffering people are making it so we should
>feel good about it or do we want to walk in victory?  I gave up trying to
>make God happy, so I could be happy, three years ago and I'm not going back.
>In short, I don't live a purpose driven life any more.  I am God's purpose
>so nothing drives me to do anything.  I look only for the leading of the
>Holy Spirit.  I am not suggesting you live as I do either nor am I trying to
>set the example.  Jesus does that quite well and all by Himself.  Maybe we
>should all pray that God will make us like that
>pastor, along with his depression and suicidal tendencies.  That way we can
>be a better Christian.  Man, I've heard weird theology before but that one
>ranks pretty high.  My advice?  Give up.  Give it all up.  When the dust
>settles, you and Jesus will be the only ones left standing and that's what
>He wants in the first place.  This statement of the pastor's testimony,
>according to the author anyway, blows me  away.
>
>Quote.
>he is, every day, a living, breathing testimony to the power of God  not to
>the power of God ten years ago when God fixed him, but the power of God
>today that gets him out of bed, gives him words to speak, and a reason to go
>on.
>Unquote.
>
>Now somebody is going to have to explain to me how it is that the Creator of
>the universe can give this pastor power to get out of bed, power to speak,
>and power to encourage others, not to mention the power to lead people to
>Christ and then to shepherd God's sheep, yet the same God of the universe is
>apparently unable to do anything about the man's depression and suicidal
>tendencies.  Something is screwed on backwards here.  Maybe I've been
>reading the wrong Bible all these years or something.  Please help.
>
>One more thing.  If I hear one more, at a boy, statement about Joni
>Erickson-Tada, I'm going to throw up.  Joni got help from others that most
>of the people right here on this list will never get.  I have heard her
>speak dozens of times but I can't remember one time hearing her say anything
>with which I could personally identify.  god bless her for all she does, I
>am not saying that, I'm just saying, I cannot personally identify with her
>nor do I appreciate people trying to make me do so.  So somebody tell me
>where the truth is.
>
>What is truth to you, now that I brought it up?  Look, I can read to you
>passages from the Satanic Bible, the Koran, The Pearl of Great Price, The
>Jehovah's Witness Bible, and the handbook on the life of Mickey Mouse, and
>find truth.  I'm not interested in a truth or some truth, I'm only
>interested in The Truth.  So where do we go from here?  The standard, run of
>the mill, common, every day, Christian routine, pull yourself up by the boot
>straps theology?  Don't ask me.  I'm too cynical to even know where to
>begin.  The truth is, however, you don't need to go any where, do anything,
>or be anything; Jesus has already done it all so you couldn't impress Him if
>you tried.  The Enemy is likewise not fooled by the platitudinous
>devotional, watered down theology, and the, I feel good so you should feel
>good commentary, of the Purpose Driven Life.
>
>Phil.