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Date: | Sun, 16 Jan 2005 19:57:21 -0500 |
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If the Lord allows the world to stand that long, this is what the United
States might be like.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Ned Benton" <[log in to unmask]>
To: "Ned Benton" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, January 16, 2005 7:53 PM
Subject: Headlines From the Year 2029
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> Headlines from the year 2029
> Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest
> country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California. White
> minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third
> language.
> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
livestock.
> Baby conceived naturally scientists stumped.
> Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
> Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the
> Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
> Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more
> years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
> France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
> Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
> but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
> George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
> Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces
mail
> delivery to Wednesdays only.
> 85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
> Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed,
> they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (hey! I just sent
it.
> I didn't write it!)
> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
> Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
> Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
swatters
> and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
> Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
> contributions to campaign accounts.
> Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
> Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines
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