Hi,

Sorry if you read my email and it sounded very harsh towards my MIL and it struck sympathy in you for her.  You'd actually have to know some background to understand the context of our latest quarrel.  For one, my MIL and I have had numerous arguments over this food subject, and she *knows* how I feel.  She pretends she doesn't because she always plays dumb when she is called onto the carpet.

Second, my MIL has a lot of issues including being a manipulative pathological liar who sleeps around quite a bit on her husband who she's been married to for 30+ years.  She back-stabbed her best friend, missed my baby shower so she could go see her boyfriend, and when I was in the hospital for two weeks delivering my son, she kept running off to see her boyfriend.  She also left my hubby and son last christmas to go see him when we were visiting from out of town.

She lies about anything and everything, and has caused fights with me and hubby and many other people with her lies.  So this last thing, while on it's own may seem small, in the scope of everything else is just the straw that broke the camels back.

She's scatterbrained, vain and self-indulgent and many more negative qualities and even my own hubby does not trust her alone with our son. I actually feel I can't be around her anymore because she willfully does not respect my wishes.  I did try to make it work because I really did want my son to have a relationship with his grandma, but at this point I think it's best he does not.

I *get* to control my son's food because I'm his mother.. that's a mother's right.  The last thing I want it for my son to associate food with love, as my MIL seems to think it does.  I really don't care if she thinks I'm controlling, if she wants to see him she'll respect my wishes.  Trust me, my MIL has had to ask for my forgiveness many times, because she keeps doing awful things.

My hubby and I are both morbidly obese, and so I'm doing my best to start my son off right so he will not have the same problems I did.  This includes never forcing him to eat anything (no clean plate club), feeding him small frequent meals which is better for him, feeding him Paleo foods as much as humanly possible, and never associating food with love or as a treat, etc.

I don't want him to have a taste for anything non-Paleo as I am trying to train his taste buds - when he does get offered crap when he is older, I want it to taste foreign to him.  It is a diffucult task, but one that is important and requires the support of those around me.

As always, my LUV goes out in my postings...  I hope you understand my position a little better now.. I don't want people thinking I'm an ogress.

Luv,
Debby
San Jose, CA


Website for my son Hunter Hudson, born 10/11/04: http://debbypadilla.0catch.com/hunter/


----- Original Message ----
From: [log in to unmask]
To: [log in to unmask]
Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2005 6:10:33 PM
Subject: Re: Calling all Paleos w/High Blood Pressure -LONG


HMMMMMMMM     LUV   sounds like the wrong  ending.

  One little bite of potato from a grandmother is not likely to kill  this
child.  Consistant daily eating to accomodate your preferences is what  will be
the take for the child.

However I am not sure that the dominant memory for the child and the  family
in general for this incident wont be a quarrelous mother who must  control
others acts of love.

  I suspect that there is more to life, and good health than  food.  I feel
that gentle spirits, and patience and a bit of forgiveness is  a major
component of good health and happy living.

Anne Shields