In talking with George in recent days, I have learned some very unsettling
things. I tried calling George one day this week and their answering
machine came on. The out going message was still their daughter's voice
recording the message. I said something to George about it that day and he
said that Vivian will not allow him to change it. When I asked why, he said
that his wife still believes that Jennifer is going to come walking up to
the front door so she will not do anything with her clothes or personal
things nor will she allow the answering machine to be changed because
Jennifer is going to be resurrected. Now there are two things about this I
want to say. First of all, I am the first in line to believe God can still
raise people from the dead. Secondly, I am the first to say this isn't one
of those cases where it is going to happen. I know why, too. Jennifer
wanted to die. How do I know this? Jennifer told her older brother, he is
married and has several children, a year ago, If I die, don't cry over me.
Since Jennifer's death, they have discovered that her room is filled with
all the drugs that Jennifer was supposed to be taking. They even were the
some of the drugs that would keep the bacteria that killed her from
developing. Sandy, my wife, types this sort of thing often. Young people,
but it can be old people as well, often stop, at some point, taking their
medications because they are sick of it. They decide in their heart, I will
either live or die but anything is better than this. Jennifer was also
living a lie the last three or four years of her life. Some of what she was
doing was illegal and she was almost arrested once but George was able to
fix the problem before that happened. Yes, Vivian knows all of this. So
what's the problem? First, what Vivian is facing isn't all that uncommon.
Her feelings are based upon several characteristics of grief alone but it
isn't just the grief, in her case, causing, what we might consider, bizarre
thinking. First, Vivian is holding herself responsible for her daughter's
death. This is a lie of the Enemy, of course, but right now, Vivian doesn't
know this. why? She is being deceived. Secondly, it is her own motherly
instincts working against her. A mother is going to feel responsibility for
her daughter, or son, including their behavior, sickness, problems, and
everything else about them. Why? Because, they gave birth to them.
Father's feel these same feelings for their offspring but for different
reasons. Take my word for it; I know. In Vivian's situation, however, my
spirit tells me that the death of their daughter is related to something
earlier. For example, I know that her mother died about seven years ago.
Only the Lord knows everything else that is related to the way Vivian is
acting right now. George emailed me this morning and told me that he sat
Vivian down and had a long talk with her last night. He explained that
their daughter wouldn't be coming back and that their daughter wanted to
die. Oh, by the way, Jennifer also told her brother, her saving hope was
getting new lungs. If she didn't get those, she said, she was a goner.
When the lung transplant was canceled, she said she was going to die. New
lungs isn't the Lord. He was to be her focus; not new lungs because He can
give someone new lungs if they are putting Him first in their belief system.
Jennifer was not doing that. I know this for many more reasons than I am
mentioning here. Regardless, last night, after George talked with his wife,
she sat there as if she never heard a word and nothing has changed. So, as
part of all of this that has been going on, I wanted you to know more so you
could pray. Grief is a very odd thing. It can last for years. People can
have their entire lives totally changed due to grief. Regardless of how odd
the symptoms may be, grief is normal, up to a point, but believe me, as one
speaking from personal experience, grief can mask attacks of the Enemy.
When my mom died two years ago, the Enemy tried to fool me into thinking
something about myself, related to my mother, which took several days before
the dust settled enough for me to hear the truth from the Lord that set me
free from a trap. What Vivian, and George for that matter, are facing, is a
biggy but it is also just as big of opportunity for the Lord to bring
healing to places that may have remained covered for their entire lives.
Just keep praying for them when you think of them.
Phil.
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