Phil,

You are so funny! lol. I'm going to attend that Church. lol.

Lovings!
Pat Ferguson

At 01:48 PM 12/25/04, you wrote:
>After watching pro sports for much of my life fill stadiums with 50 to 80
>thousand fans and charging any where from 30 to 100 dollars each, and
>sometimes more, I am going to start a new church.  It will function much
>like a sports bar with huge TV screens scattered throughout the warehouse
>sized buildings.  On each screen will be a different television preacher
>doing his best to convince you that his message is true and soliciting your
>offering.  Each TV star will have his own personal cheer leading team of
>half dressed young women attempting to attract people to his message.  In
>some cases, of course, it will be a woman preaching on the TV so there can
>be male cheer leaders then, too, if she wants.  There will be free alcoholic
>drinks and lots of free food as well.  Such warehouse new age churches will
>mushroom in popularity over night.  Waiters and waitresses will be mingling
>throughout the crowd making certain everybody is happy.  Special people
>dressed in white clothing will circulate through the vast crowds of people
>with offering plates.  Once people are high, or well lubricated, they will
>be happy to turn their pockets inside out for Jesus.  We will have puppet
>shows for the kids going on in all four corners of the huge building and a
>couple of mass Choirs singing all the popular songs of the day and at either
>end of the long building.  The new age Church warehouse buildings will be so
>long, either choir won't be able to be heard by either group as they sing.
>The new age Church will be opened from Friday night till midnight on Sunday
>night so the church goers will be a never ending group of worshippers coming
>and going all weekend.  This will make it convenient for the Lord when
>ministering to people.  You see, Jesus won't have to be stuck trying to get
>through to people during a couple of hours just on Sunday mornings.  There
>will be valet parking all over the area including shuttle bussing from
>multiple locations as much as 10 miles from the church building.  Clowns and
>jugglers and fire eaters and others dressed in animal suits will also mingle
>among the crowds offering one on one entertainment.  The weekend theme will
>always be, Joy to the world.  It is time the church stop nickel and diming
>the poor and go after the big money and this new age Church will accomplish
>all of that and more.
>
>Phil.