Kathy Jo,
    If your parents are not your guardians then you can't  be compelled to
acquiesce to their wishes regarding how and where you live, financial
arrangements, or what type of services you seek to help you achieve your
goals. It also means that you retain the right to confidentiality when
communicating with service providers. Thus, your parents can't force their
way into your meetings or demand that service providers reveal the content
of discussions at which they were not present.
    Your parents seem to know very little about independent living and
determined to see only the bleakest possible future for you. Stop looking to
them as sources of accurate information. Instead seek second opinions,  from
independent sources, before accepting your parents statements as valid.
Susan

----- Original Message -----
From: "Kathy Pink" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, September 13, 2004 2:10 PM
Subject: Re: Your summer


> Susan,
>
>
>
> I am my own guardian yet.  That, too was talked about Thursday.  I got the
> feeling it was wrong to explore my options .
>
>
>
> Yes, I am on anti-depressant medicines and have been in and out of therapy
> for my depression.
>
> I have asked people if they stole from us of they quit on the spot.  My
> parents want to bait them first.  I would call the agency if people don't
> show up or are late.
>
>
>
> Kathy Jo
>
> Kathy Jo Pink
> [log in to unmask]
> AOL IM ScreenName:  kjptde
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List
> [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of Susan Moskowitz
> Sent: Sunday, September 12, 2004 2:38 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Your summer
>
>
> Kathy Jo,
>     I'm sorry that your parents and social worker are upset with you. You
> have the right to explore your options. Unfortunately, a history of
hurting
> yourself and others SIGNIFICANTLY complicates your situation. I think
there
> are a number of issues which you need to consider.
>     1. I know that you are in your 30's but do your parents retain any
> degree of legal or medical guardianship over you?  If you have a history
of
> cognitive impairment or mental illness (such as repeated suicide attempts)
> your parents may have requested ongoing guardianship despite your age.
They
> would have had to go to court to set this up. If they did then you ARE
> subject to their decisions. You need to fend out. Guardianship
arrangements
> can be challenged, but there is no guarantee that you will win.
>     2. What have you done to combat the negative feelings which have
> prompted your efforts to hurt yourself or other people?  Have you been in
> therapy and/or on antidepressant medication?   Unless you have done
> something to help control
> these impulses, it will be very difficult to arrange the assistance you
will
> need to live independently. REMEMBER THAT YOUR ASSISTANTS HAVE EVERY RIGHT
> TO EXPECT TO BE PHYSICALLY SAFE WHILE WORKING WITH YOU!
>
> 3.  How have YOU handled situations when your assistants have stolen
family
> belongings, not showed up for work etc.? If you have left it up to your
> parents to deal with these situations , then you have been reinforcing
their
> perception that you can't take care of yourself. You need to learn to take
> charge of unpleasant situations if you want to convince other people that
> you can handle difficulties and make your own decisions about significant
> issues.
> Susan
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Kathy Pink" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Sunday, September 12, 2004 2:05 PM
> Subject: Re: Your summer
>
>
> > It isn't only my parents that say I can't live alone.  I have a history
of
> > hurting myself and others.  My county social worker says I need 24-Hour
> > Care.  I met with The Independent Living Specialist , my social worker,
> and
> > my parents Thursday.  My parents and my social worker were mad with me
> > because I contacted the Center Of Independent Living.  No two CP Cases
are
> > alike.  I can't afford 24-Hour Care.
> >
> >
> >
> > My parents are going to Branson in October and they said I can't stay
here
> > because it is their house.  People that worked here have stolen, some
> people
> > have forgotten , not showed, or they were three hours late.
> >
> >
> > Kathy Jo
> > Kathy Jo Pink
> > [log in to unmask]
> > AOL IM ScreenName:  kjptde
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List
> > [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of Kathy
> > Sent: Monday, September 06, 2004 8:14 PM
> > To: [log in to unmask]
> > Subject: Re: Your summer
> >
> >
> > He's wrong.  There's assistive technology to help you with such things,
> and
> > if
> > not that, aides can help you.  What will you do when your parents die?
> You
> > need to start planning ahead and getting ready to be on your own.
> >
> > Kat
> >
> > On Monday 06 September 2004 8:34 pm, Kathy Pink wrote:
> > > My dad said in order to live independently you have to be able to
talk,
> > > walk, or feed yourself and I can't do any.
> > >
> > > Kathy Jo Pink
> > > [log in to unmask]
> > > AOL IM ScreenName:  kjptde
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List
> > > [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of Tamar Raine
> > > Sent: Sunday, September 05, 2004 9:51 PM
> > > To: [log in to unmask]
> > > Subject: Re: Your summer
> > >
> > >
> > > I can get in and out of my wheelchair, and I can feed myself, though I
> > need
> > > somebody to cut my food.  and I talk ok, not great, but i can
> communicate.
> > > But regardless, each of us is different, and please don't compare
> yourself
> > > to anybody.
> > >
> > > Tamar Mag Raine
> > > [log in to unmask]
> > >
> > > The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
> > > persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.
> > > Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
> > > -George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950
> > >
> > > IM: tamarmag48
> > > Oakland Mayor's Commission on People with disabilities
> > >
> > > > [Original Message]
> > > > From: Kathy Pink <[log in to unmask]>
> > > > To: <[log in to unmask]>
> > > > Date: 9/5/2004 12:29:23 PM
> > > > Subject: Re: Your summer
> > > >
> > > > Mag,
> > > >
> > > > Can you walk, talk, or feed yourself ? Kathy Jo
> > > >
> > > > Kathy Jo Pink
> > > > [log in to unmask]
> > > > AOL IM ScreenName:  kjptde
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > From: St. John's University Cerebral Palsy List
> > > > [mailto:[log in to unmask]]On Behalf Of Tamar Raine
> > > > Sent: Friday, September 03, 2004 5:15 PM
> > > > To: [log in to unmask]
> > > > Subject: Re: Your summer
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Kathy Jo,
> > > > You know I have an average of 5 hours of assistance a day. Others
need
> > >
> > > more
> > >
> > > > assistance and yet they have their own apartments. So, you can do
it,
> > > > even if they say 24 hour care is too expensive, it is your right to
> live
> > > > where you want to live. The law is called Olmstead, and I know that
> > > > States are having trouble helping everybody that needs it, but I
urge
> > you
> > > > not to give up. it may take a year. but don't give up.  in the
> meantime
> > > > there are things you can do, like have somebody teach you about
money.
> > > >
> > > > Mag