Kathy,

Sorry to hear you are feeling out of sorts. I know the new house has been a
challenge with time lines, decisions, concerns of transitioning from the
trailer to the house and etc. I would like you to consider some things if
you would? Firstly take yourself back  months ago, when you first started
looking into the possibility of a new house. How improbable it seemed. I
remember your frustration of no hope in getting into a new house, or a
house. Well? You are a very, very short time away from living out that
dream. You have a son who, although you miss and are naturally concerned
for, is stretching out his wings in Michigan gaining his bearings in life
and will do just fine because he has got fighters and overcomers  for
parents as an example and a support system. He is making his way in life
just as you had intended him to when you had him 18/19 years ago. You have
more children at home that although have their own qualities and
shortcomings as we all do, they come home every night, aren't walking the
streets. You have a husband who'd lay down his life for yours, you have
friends here and elsewhere that care for you and your family, not to
mention the most important thing, a God who cares for you and will not let
you ride a storm more powerful than you can handle. With guys, we tell
someone off, or threaten them, with women you breakdown in tears. Not
all  but this is a generality. I know my wife, if breaks down in front of
someone, will tend to feel like a fool, weak, and  embarrassed. Believe me,
us men? We don't think anything about it *smile*. So you don't have the
exact color you thought you'd like in carpeting. You'd probably not like
the one you wanted anyway after a while and the one you wind up with will
be just the right one. The water heater? Well you now can feel good knowing
that the people you sell the trailer to will not feel as though they were
taken in on their purchase. Your home insurance? You'll get nearly all of
it back when you cancel the policy and are in your new home. For every ill
event, there can be found a positive thing, the only  thing holding us back
from finding it is our own desire to wallow in our sorrow or our standards
of what we feel is a positive. I am not Mister Positive Personality, and
know very well frustration and being in a rut of things coming against me,
but sooner or later one has to find a different perspective. I know you
will too. Hang in there. You are just about in your new place, and what a
celebration you will feel when all is moved in and you put your hand on
your hips, look around and smell the smell of new house, and smile with
elation. Oh. And did I mention that there is a chance that you'll find a
piece of trim loose, or perhaps something missed? Do not be disappointed.
We have lived here two years and we find stuff here and there like a
electrical outlet box Brenda just told me was never fastened. So big deal.
Or perhaps the ceiling fan in our bedroom that didn't work and I had to by
and install a new one? Who cares, it isn't worth it. So take it from your
younger, much, much younger brother lol. Don't sweat it. Enjoy the journey,
we spend a lifetime in one and to wait for our destiny to be happy and
joyful is a constant state of want and missing out enjoying life as you go.

Brad