Phil,
I know that one thing that has frustrated Chris with me is that
situations are not always what they sound like. A situation may sound
more chaotic or out of control than it really is because when kids rough
house they make a lot of noise. The noise drives me nuts and there are
times when I have probably stopped something that really wasn't as bad as
it sounded. I really have to be careful about this now because Caleb,
being the baby, can make it sound like he's being killed, or at least
severely tortured, when in truth, he is just as willingly involved as the
rest. Not being able to see, yet being the stay at home parent, has
caused me to make some bad discipline calls and I know that this is part
of what Christopher resents.
Also, I mentioned in an earlier post that I am a passionate
person and that Chris is overly sensitive. I have been praying for the
Lord to help me in my responses, but it is so bad that a conversation can
go like this. Last night, after Chris had finished with some plastering
in the kitchen he went and got the broom without being asked and began to
sweep up his mess. Now, to be honest, this is the first night that he
has done this, even though he has been plastering and patching for four
days now. I simply said something like, "thanks chris, that's really
sweet of you." He informed me that even my saying that sounded to him as
if I were saying, "you don't clean up." I did try to assure him that i
really meant a simple "thanks," but when we were done speaking to each
other, I'm still not sure that he was convinced of this. He's overly
sensitive, but I will admit that I also need to work on my tone of voice.
The traffic cop is my model at present. Chris, however, often thinks
that I wouldn't react so strongly if I could see and really know what's
going on. If I try to explain that I"m not as out of the loop as that,
he doesn't believe me. I suppose that that is one of those lies, Phil ,
that you are talking about.
Kathy
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