Oh Matt,
        I remember the days.  I'll probably say absolutely nothing that you don't
already know, but I'll try.  It's important to be firm and reasonable and
not react emotionally.  I'm not sure that throwing toys in the trash is a
great solution because it ends up wasting your hard earned money, but I do
like your suggestion of putting them away.  Perhaps, if you either rotate
what toys she plays with or just reduce the amount of toys for a set amount
of time that will get your point across better.  When she is good at
putting away one or two toys, the number can be increased and then reduced
again if she isn't cooperative.  The more plans of action that you can
establish ahead of time, the less likely you will react emotionally and
make a bad call.  This is where team work between you and Terry is so
important.
        As far as the sleeping thing, handle it whatever way you are comfortable,
just make sure that she isn't having night terrors.  Some kids do deal with
that at your daughter's age and there really isn't much you can do about
it, but be loving.
        Believe me Matt, I'm going to say something that I just couldn't believe
when I was where you are now in parenting, but it is so true.  I couldn't
believe it when parents of teens would tell me that I was lucky because of
the stage of parenting that I was in, but at least with your daughter, you
can cuddle and still exercize some controll.  then there is the blessed nap
time, which is a great natural break.  It will get more adventurous.  Just
wait!  Especially if you have another one.  Then you need to go through the
process of unseating the princess and some princesses don't take too kindly
to that, but there are a lot of rewards.  Truly there are!
Kathy