Firstly, Rhonda, I'm not angry at you in the least.  i appreciate your
honesty.  In answer, no, I really don't know exactly why I feel as I do.
We've never really known completely by whom as I've mentally blocked it out,
but yes, I do know enough to say, I was abused as a child.  I'v e not until
Kristin came along heard that many people tell me that they loved me.  Yes,
my parents have both said it several times, but for some odd reason, I've
never to this day believed it.  Again, I completely understand your concerns
Rhonda.  To be really frankly honest, I presented these same questions to
both myself as well as to God.  I still feel that God is telling me to trust
him, that in the end, he's going to show me why I feel so strong, and that
when he does it will be wonderful, but I just can't seem to understand as of
yet why, and waiting to me, is so difficult.

I honestly do not think i would harm her.  if anything, I'm more scared of
harming myself physically, because of the fact that I'm so stressed over
this, that it's making me illy sick.  Then again, though, that all comes
back to the comment you made, that is why I need to get help from someone
cirtified in this type area.  So, i guess with that in mind, i now see where
you are coming from.

Thanks for the opinion.  You have the right on this list to speak up if you
feel concerned, and frankly, I thank you that you did.


Chris.


----- Original Message -----
From: "Rhonda" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, November 15, 2004 4:34 PM
Subject: Re: Boiling with an aching heart


>I am just concerned about your feelings, such strong ones, for a  little
> girl.  I assume she is little, why would you feel so strongly about this
> girl?
> Why do you need to talk to her, and want so desperately for her to say she
> loves you?
> Did someone abuse you as a child, just wondering?
> I just am concerned, and you can be angry with me if you want too, but,
> you
> need some help, God can help, prayer works, but sometimes... God uses
> medical intervention,
> I just wouldn't want you to harm yourself, or anyone else,
> I couldn't just not say nothing, though I thought you would be angry,
> I just don't understand the feelings a grown man would have for a little
> girl,
> Maybe you don't even understand why you feel as you do.
> I only spoke up, because I care,
> that is all, Rhonda