Hi guys,
        Well, it is a quiet, peaceful Saturday afternoon.  Caleb and Liz are
quietly occupied and Greg is still delivering mail, after a snow storm that
dumped two feet on Bangor, Thursday and Friday.  The kids had two snow days
in a row!  Wow!  Anyway, I thought that I would take advantage of the lull
to catch you up on how things stand with us and Chris.
        Chris has been in Cromwell now for ten days.  According to the therapist,
the only time  that they  see bad behavior is when he has contact with
us.  Now, to us, Chris complains about a lot of stuff, but, as is his
pattern, he won't air any of this to them.  Anyway, Chris will be seeing a
psychiatrist this Monday to see if he can make a diagnosis.  Right now, the
therapist is suspecting, reactive rather than clenical depression.  She has
also observed , that while Chris has no problem living under the
established rules that are already set in place there, he is bent on
breaking the rules that we have in our home.  She really has her doubts
about whether it is a reasonable expectation at all, that Chris can come
home after another 35 days and have us make it as a unit until he turns 18,
which will be in 262 days, and counting.  I've always wondered what would
happen after this time, and it looks like a huge question mark is hanging
over our heads at present.  He was only supposed to be down there for an
evaluation and assessment, so a longer stay would be asking for miracles.
        I cannot believe the big difference in me after ten days of freedom from
stress.  The change is almost night and day.  It's almost like Greg and I
are on a second honeymoon.  We also really enjoy being with Caleb and Liz
and, to be truthful, I think that we are all enjoying  having the elephant
removed from the living room, so to speak.    After four years of being
told how awful I am and how everything is my fault, I have been reminded in
these past ten days of two things.  I'm not a bad person and I'm not a bad
parent.  Also, after feeling so well and seeing how easily Chris can still
jerk me around with his short, rude phone calls, I see clearly now how
oppressed I've been without even knowing it.  Well, that isn't quite
accurate.  I knew it, but since it had been growing gradually, I didn't
realize how bad it was until he was out of the house.
        His phone calls are cruel.  He can call us in the evening from the
unit.  We have also had two therapy sessions with him via phone.  Last
week, at the first session, he walked out in the middle of it and
yesterday, when he didn't like something that either Greg or I said, I
can't remember which, he reached over and hung up on us.  The therapist
made him call us back.  That was interesting.
        Chris needs to get to the root of his anger, but he just keeps pushing it
away.  He refuses to hear any of the good things that I say about him.  The
therapist saw that very clearly as well yesterday.  He believes so many
lies about himself and us that it is staggering.  Maybe you guys should
start praying that I can sweet talk him into talking to  Phil.  But then,
Phil wants to talk to me too, so maybe there are more cans of worms there
than I can deal with, yet, at present.  GRIN!
        Anyway, I think that you guys are caught up now, for the most part.  I'll
be sure to let you know if we learn anything after Monday.  Please keep
praying for a break through and please pray for something to open up as far
as what to do with him when this time of evaluation is over.
God bless,
Kathy
Always, for His glory