Kathy,

I can see the explanation thing being difficult. Even with my son, we can
but not for very long. He loses interest and yes you certainly can find
yourself preaching to beat the band while he sits there saying nothing. It
is so very tough when a kid tests the waters and finds out that a parent
can or will only go so far. Remember when we were kids? We'd not dare to
talk back or whatever for the mystery of what might happen to us. But then
we found ourselves with hurt feelings when punished, which just doesn't
seem to phase kids these days. God knows you are trying your best, and one
day,  you and Chris will be sitting at the kitchen table laughing about
what hell he put you through as you watch his little ones scrambling around
the house. Believe me, I've seen that come full circle in our household and
it may seem impossible now but very possible in the future.

Brad


Brad


Kathy Du Bois wrote:
>Brad,
>Interestingly  enough, we try to use the explanation approach also, but
>Eric believes that, for Chris, that is the wrong approach because he is
>so manipulative that he uses explanations as an opportunity to keep the
>parent engaged and keep the  argument  going to keep the hope alive of
>getting his own way.  I don't know if you've ever heard of  the book
>"One Two Three Magic," but it's basicly an approach that advocates
>counting to three, out loud, and then, basicly, bringing down the boom,
>no discussion allowed.  It's too late for Chris, but if we had known what
>is ahead, that may have been the approach to use on Chris when he was
>younger.  Maybe not, who knows.  It's all a guessing game.  Talking works
>really well with, especially Liz and Caleb, but I guess that that just
>goes to show how much personality plays a part in designing the right
>discipline approach.  We are definitely not  christmas  cookies.  Then
>too, this all started at puberty so it really caught us off guard.  I'm
>nervice that it may happen to Caleb
>and I just pray that I am learning from this to be prepared for whatever
>comes.
>Kathy
>
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Brad

   Plan ahead, It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark