Phil,

That's pretty heavy. I'm going to have to read this again and think about
it and pray about it.

You write such inspireational articles.

Lovingly,
Pat Ferguson



At 08:39 PM 4/17/04, you wrote:
>      Recently I was praying with a lady who is going through some
>unbelievable stressful things in her life.  Everything seems
>impossible.  She is a Christian, lives alone, and is also blind.
>
>      Although we have prayed several times together, she went for
>a period of time not calling or asking to pray because she felt
>bad about not having anything to pay me.  Of course, I have never
>asked her for any money, because I make no financial
>requirements, and she knows that.  Yet she felt uncomfortable
>about it anyhow.
>
>      Circumstances have become so unreasonable and numerous and so
>complicated, it has created an attitude of hopelessness and
>impossibility at times for her.  When she described some of the
>situations to me, I pointed out these current experiences were
>acting as trigger points and tapping into the real woundedness
>that was causing the feelings now.  I explained how the current
>emotions were part of earlier events which had woundedness, or
>lies, implanted in them which needed to be exposed by the Lord and
>removed by hearing His Word.  Then, once those areas were
>eliminated, that is, the implanted lies, she would not react in
>the same way.
>
>      In this case, she experienced extreme and intense anger over
>something someone said in relationship to her blindness.  She said
>she could not understand how this current experience could have
>anything to do with something in the past and besides, she said,
>"I thought I was over those sorts of feelings related to my
>blindness anyhow."  so I used the following example to get her to
>see how, what had recently happened, caused such an unrestrained
>response.
>
>      Let's say, you have a lady that has been your best friend for
>years and this lady was sighted.  You did everything together.
>You went out to eat, you shopped together, she read your mail, ran
>errands for you, made bank deposits for you, wrote checks, dropped
>things off at the post office whenever you asked, and you just
>enjoyed each other as best friends.  Over the years, you actually
>become somewhat dependant on such a person because they can see
>and you were such good friends, you could trust her reading
>private mail, filling out applications, taking you to doctor's
>appointments, and many other personal things you would find more
>difficult with a person you just know, say from church or a family
>member, for example.
>
>      Over the years, this relationship becomes very strong and you
>both have become somewhat dependent upon each other because such
>is the nature of any friendship.  However, one day your friend
>unexpectedly dies.  This has, of course, a profound effect upon
>you in many ways.  First, because your best friend has suddenly
>died and your heart is filled with grief and sorrow.
>Additionally, all the things you used to try and get different
>people to do in assisting you, was being handled by your best
>friend for years, and now you suddenly have no help.  You are
>slammed hard back into the reality of your blindness due to your
>friend's sudden passing away.  Now, not only are you grieving the
>loss of your best friend, but you are back to square one and
>forced to call upon others to do the personal things that was so
>conveniently handled by your friend.  Things, which had
>disappeared, as far as problems, or what some prefer to call
>inconveniences, which were related to your blindness, are now back
>in full force and, in fact, it feels worse than ever before.  Why?
>By now we should be adjusted and matured in this area of life.
>After all, it has been this way most of your life.  Right?  So why
>are you being so blind all of the sudden?
>
>      As the weeks and months pass, the frustration of trying to
>find others to assist in reading mail, running errands, and a
>dozen other things your friend used to always help do, becomes
>acute.  It was wonderful to have almost forgotten your blindness
>during those years.  Now, you seem to get mad easier.  Plus, you
>now realize just how much you hated shopping alone and depending
>on store clerks to help you decide what clothes to buy.  Your
>mail becomes a curse.  Writing checks, paying bills, and filling
>out forms, is driving you crazy because you just cannot find
>anybody that was as dependable as your friend.  Occasionally, you
>respond a little too harshly, out of frustration, and once again,
>people are accusing you of being too sensitive.  Oh, how you wish
>your friend was still alive.  She never accused you of ever being
>too sensitive once.  The frustration of just living every day life
>as a blind person seems to become sharper, and more painful, the
>older you get.
>
>      Finally, one day, somebody crosses the line and makes a
>comment that always bothered you before as a blind person but one
>which you always handled with grace.  Somehow, this time, it
>feels like a violent attack and you lash out, losing your temper,
>and slamming down the phone, you sit and cry until you can't cry
>any more.  "If I just wasn't blind, I could do these things
>myself," is heard in your thoughts once again.   The loss of your
>friend is like a dam burst and your emotions are suddenly flooded
>to the breaking point.
>
>      Now, stop and let everything I just described, sink in.  If
>you aren't blind, you may not be able to identify with all I have
>suggested but you can grasp the concept.  If you are sighted,
>transfer that concept to your own personal life and look at it
>from wherever you are in life.  Perhaps you have some other
>disability.  Maybe you have lost a child or a husband or wife and
>the grief still returns again and again.  Perhaps you lost a
>business and now can't even live from paycheck to paycheck any
>longer.  Perhaps you are single and all your life you have desired
>someone with which to share your life.  It makes no difference how
>you relate to this story but I encourage you to put yourself into
>this hypothetical story in whatever way fits your own life and
>then continue reading.
>
>      In my illustrated story, a blind woman loses her best friend
>due to sudden death.  Now, the story instantly changes.  Her
>sighted friend isn't really dead any more.  There's no
>explanation; she is just suddenly alive again.  How would you feel
>if you were the blind person in this story?  What would happen to
>all the frustration, the anger, the feeling of helplessness or
>dependency?  What would happen to the strong feeling of blindness
>that had just been there moments before?  Your friend is suddenly
>back.  You know everything is back to the way it used to be.  So
>what would happen to all the negative things you had just been
>feeling a moment before your friend came back?  That's right;
>everything would stop and disappear.  Relief, joy and a sense of
>freedom and liberty would come rushing back and everything that
>was bad would suddenly be ok and no longer able to effect you
>adversely.
>
>      This is how Jesus the Healer works when He renews the mind in
>areas of woundedness.  When the original source of the pain is
>located, and any lies or misconceptions renewed or healed, His
>Word, which is the only thing that counts because it is the only
>thing that is true, begins to work and live in you.  Furthermore,
>you suddenly and wonderfully become a partaker of His divine
>nature through His exceeding great and precious promises, (2 Peter
>1:3-4).
>
>      In my hypothetical story, your friend afforded you life in a
>way never experienced before.  When that part of your life was
>blocked out, old things became rushing back in and you began to
>experience the pain you always new was their.  When your friend
>suddenly returned, all, I repeat, all was made new again and you
>were free.  So it is with God and His healing power through the
>renewing of the mind.
>
>      The most common question I hear is, "I thought all this was
>done at the cross.  Wasn't it?"  If so, why do you respond
>adversely to certain circumstances?  Why does the anger suddenly
>come rushing to the surface?  Where does that fear come from you
>still have as a Christian?  If God has forgiven us, then why do
>we sometimes feel shame or guilt over something that happened
>years ago?  In fact, why do we find ourselves asking for God to
>forgive us for the same thing many times over the years?  Could it
>perhaps be we are believing a lie and that our friend really isn't
>dead after all?  Stop and think about it.
>
>
>I Flew Kites With Jesus
>www.SafePlaceFellowship.com