Basicly, subject says it all.  My doctor has put me on a new antidepressant
medicine called Risperdol, and it's taking a few days to get in my
bloodstream.  Thus, it's kind of whacking me out so to speak.  Kristin went
on to work, but 1, she's gonna be all boo hoo hoo, as she always is when I'm
not constantly by her side, which I must say, is rediculous, not to mention
aggervating as heck.  I don't have anything against her, but I wish in that
respect, she'd grow up.  I stayed home.  Kristin has the perscription slip
that she can show Carolyn, my superviser, however, she's said that if I
missed any more full days, I'd have to requalify, possibly even for another
job altogether.  I think that i made mention a while back to you all, that I
was forced into this job in the first manor.  I'm half way tempted to say,
if they can't accept a medical problem as a valid absence, then I see  no
point in working for them anymore at all, however, this is all we've got.
We can't live off of SSI making only around 1000 a month.  If I'm
terminated, it's going  to be living hell between my parents, her parents,
my grandparents, and our job here.  I've never been scared to the point of
frightened over work, however, now, I am.  I cannot! afford to lose this
job.  I've tried and tried to set up my own business with Service123.net,
and done absolutely no good.  I don't see how these other companies who work
out of home, and I will not quote names, can make it, yet we can't.  it
almost not only makes me jealous of them, but also quite angry, not at them,
as people, or a company, but more angry at God for not giving me a decent
job I love, as well as angry at myself.  I feel I'm not being a fair husband
to Kristin by not going in today, but what was I supposed to do, ya know/  I
mean, a man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do!  i'm really trying; what more
can be asked.  I just have the really weery feeling that my job's over
today, and that scares me deeply.  Maybe I should call Agetha, my other
superviser, and ask her what to do.  I do need prayer though, as this is
bothering me more than you all could ever know.  Plus, with Kristin and i
trying to have kids, and the fact that she could be pregnant already,
doubtfully, but maybe, that's not cool if I lose my job, or she does one, or
both, in worst case senario.

What do we do!


Chris.