This is a sad day for this list!!  No other member here will be able to
bring to this list the love, the wisdom, the righteous attitude, the same
close relationship with God displayed in Phil's ministry to us.  Each of us
is unique in the Kingdom of God, each of us a part of the ministry of
reconciliation, and when one is tread upon by insensitivity to his or her
thoughts and service, or criticized for it, we all suffer.

I pray that God will comfort and strengthen Phil as he waits before the
Lord for direction for the next steps in his devoted life to God.

In Him,
Helen

At 09:45 AM 1/12/04 -0700, you wrote:
>It has taken me awhile to realize that the Almighty doesn't need me to
>defend His power or love or healing power for others.  Unbelief, however, is
>tremendously effective.  Even Jesus was stymied by the unbelief of others.
>Read Mark 6:4-6.  I am no healer, of course, and I have no power except for
>that of the Holy Spirit and his ministry to others.  It is time for a
>change.  The Lord has been speaking to me about such in the background.  A
>year ago, at the Lord's direction, I signed off all my mailing lists and
>those I actually owned, I turned over to others.  I discontinued my
>newsletter and the phone book files for the blind I had been editing for 9
>years.  I dropped a number of website domains except for my personal website
>called red white and blue dot org and the latest one I felt the Lord told me
>to established which you all know is called safe place fellowship which just
>so happens to be what we call our Friday night prayer meetings.  The other
>four domains I dropped just recently.  I have even considered dropping my
>personal website but am still thinking about that one.  I kept echurch
>because I didn't feel I could give up my one Christian contact.  However,
>new things are beginning to surface.  We are praying about starting a new
>church where we can minister to people according to the Scriptures.  This is
>currently in addition to our Friday night prayer meetings we have had in our
>home for probably about a year now.  The Holy Spirit seems to be speaking to
>me about things which require a dedicated focus.  I love the internet and
>the communication with others all over the world.  I remember when I first
>got on the internet.  When I was doing DOS tutorials, I was asked by the
>Egyptian government to donate my tutorials to them so they could translate
>them into Arabic which they would then, in turn, have someone read them back
>on to tape.  This was for their computer lab they had established in Cairo
>just for the blind.  I even got a letter from a general on the Egyptian
>cabinet thanking me for helping them.  Later those same tapes were
>translated into Spanish for South America blind students learning how to use
>computers.  So, in short, it has been quite rewarding at times.  My life, as
>most of you know, has radically changed in the last couple of years.  I have
>been privileged to see the Lord do things that two years ago I never dreamed
>I would witness.  Recently, I have felt I have not been focusing on things
>spiritually as I should.  I love the internet and echurch in particular but
>at the same time, it seems the Lord is telling me to focus on something
>which would take me away from the realm of the internet.  As I said, I love
>the internet and it is a wonderful tool but it is also a toy and perhaps a
>toy I take too seriously.  I feel strongly about keeping safe place
>fellowship dot com due to the nature of the site.  I hear from people, who
>have dialed up the website through doing searches on search engines, who are
>very hurting frightened people.  The Lord told me last summer, following an
>hour of intercessory prayer, that this was who I am now.  I cannot change
>that because somehow it is an answer to prayer.  It is my job, therefore, to
>take the place of others in order that they might walk free.  It isn't easy
>listening to the pain and fears and horrible experiences people have had in
>the past as we pray together in order that the Lord might heal their
>woundedness because I have the tendency to take things personally.  My
>ministry takes me to places that are very painful for me to hear, yet it is
>who I am.  I pray with suicides cases and with people who have tried suicide
>as a way out.  I pray with people who still want to kill themselves.  I pray
>with sexually abused people and rape victims.
>  I pray with people who grew up being hated by their father and now live a
>life of fear and doubts and sadness that defies human understanding.  I pray
>with people who have lost loved ones and the grief has simply taken over
>their life; causing them dysfunctionality in their adult life.  I pray with
>people who live with horrible nightmares that keep them awake half the
>night.  I pray with people who, in spite of what some may believe, are
>afflicted with demons and are tormented.  I pray with people who have
>multiple personalities due to the trauma they suffered as a child.  You
>might think a person could get depressed themselves as a result of all this
>but frankly, I have never been so happy because for once in my life, I know
>I am walking free and doing the perfect will of God in my life.  There is no
>greater joy than to be absolutely positive you are walking in God's perfect
>will.  It is going to be very difficult for me to subtract myself from a
>majority of my internet activities but now seems to be God's timing.  I
>could be wrong, of course, and it wouldn't be the first time but these
>thoughts have been bumping around in my spirit for a long time.
>Additionally, the burden I carry for people when I hear the things they are
>facing, sometimes gets pretty heavy.  The only way I know of dealing with
>that burden is through intercessory prayer.  I should be spending a whole
>lot more time in prayer than I am and that, in and of itself, is no easy
>task.  Yet, I am pretty certain that is what needs to be done for me.  I
>often feel the Lord is taking me some place but so far He hasn't shown me
>that, or where, that is.  So, this is to say goodbye for now.  I may be back
>but my private email is always available because I write to a lot of people
>who write to me about what they are facing.  Some of them I pray with on the
>phone when required and some just use email.  Additionally, I am working on
>a project that takes a lot of hours of my time.  I don't even know if the
>Lord is going to use it but it is something that parallels the ministry I am
>in.  So, if you need anything, Vicki is always here.  Technically, she now
>owns the echurch mailing list anyhow and I am just in a secondary moderator
>position so nothing relating to the list will change.  I love each one of
>you and though you don't know it, if you needed help in some way, I would be
>the first person there.  Remember that your Lord and Savior has a very safe
>place for you and that you can walk in His perfect will.  However, in every
>one of us, as He still does in me, He wants to heal pain and woundedness
>that keeps us spiritually off balance so we cannot do His will and reach
>others.  Unfortunately, I take things personally but I finally realized this
>is do to my calling as an intercessor and such things have to be turned over
>to the Lord for Him to carry as He commanded.  I feel as if there are some
>other things the Lord may be wanting me to do and maybe it is time to find
>out.  I trust you will continue to enjoy the list and it will be a blessing
>to you.  Remember, Vicki is here and she has control of all list commands.
>I can't say if I'll be back or not; only the Lord knows that.  There are
>some people I need to reach, however, and when God gives you an assignment,
>it is really difficult to say no to the one who heals you.  Please don't
>reply to this on the list because I am signing off after sending this
>message or at least, shortly afterward.  God has blessed you.
>
>Complete In Him.
>
>Phil.
>Crazy For Jesus
>www.SafePlaceFellowship.com