Kathy,

Those are all good points.  Gretchen's problems started, however, much
earlier and I am talking about 3 and 4 years of age.  That's when she began
habitually lying.  I am also not as tough as I sound.  I am actually more of
a whimp but people who are afraid of me don't know that so it works to my
advantage, haw.  Gretchen has come to me more than once and cried and told
me how she remembers everything I have ever talked to her about.  She said
once, a couple of years ago, that she knew it appeared as if she didn't
listen to me but she said, I remember everything and I appreciate what you
tell me, too.  Whatever happened to Gretchen was something spiritually
based.  The only thing Gretchen has ever accused me of, however, was
spanking her for something she didn't do and that her little brother did
instead and lied about it.  I apologized more than once but she used it as a
weak argument and especially after I apologized about 20 times.  I
discovered when Gretchen was about 12 years old that she had a problem
having blind parents.  Yes, she has literally said this more than once.
This is a problem I cannot fix, of course, but whatever is the root problem,
is very likely associated with this aspect of her life.  She also told us
once that we were poor and she didn't like being poor.  I am not for sure
how she got this idea because we live in a 200,000 dollar home even if the
neighborhood isn't the best in town.  Sandy and I have always made good
money and they kids have always had nice clothes and shoes and games and
bikes and a whole lot more than I ever had.  Yet, for some reason, Gretchen
considered us poor.  These things are somehow rooted in the wrong places.
Rebel against authority?  Sure.  I did, too, and in a big way.  You are
right about the effect the drugs are having on her judgment now, though.
That certainly doesn't help.  When I was a kid, we didn't go to movies and a
whole lot of other things.  Sandy never even wore slacks when we first got
married and I didn't own a TV either.  When my kids were little, they went
to movies, we had a TV, and they had much more freedom.  I kind of think my
dad was more right than I was now but that's beside the point.  I have
thought about all those things you mentioned, Kathy, as possibilities but
interestingly enough, Gretchen has never once mentioned any of those things
as being a problem.  The blindness bit and being poor were the too odd
things that surfaced at times when there was no pressure.  The funny thing
about that is, if anybody ever says anything about our blindness, Gretchen
comes out swinging and would kill, sort of speak, if she could get her hands
on whoever says it.  Gretchen will be ok some day and she almost made it a
couple of summers ago, too, but the Enemy wiggled his way into her life and
she gave up trying.  The devil is pretty smart.  Get them hooked on drugs or
sex or booze and he doesn't have to hang around all the time because those
things do his work for him.

Phil.