Kathy,

That is a great illustration to Matthew. I wondered through all of this
with Chris how the  other kids viewed it all. Much of what kept me in line
as a kid was the unknown what would happen if I did this or did that. Now
days that little mystery seems to be no more and kids have gotten bolder,
and smarter too as to the laws with the in surge of abuse. I wonder how
Chris's escapades have lessened that mystery for your other children.
Again, it is sad that it has to come to all what you have had to go
through, reading law, having witness of outside authorities to vouch for
your proof of having read law, and being advised of your parental rights of
discipline. That is extremely saddening. If Charles Ingalls were an actual
person in today's age, he'd been hauled off to jail for abuse in taking one
of his kids out to the wood shed for lying. There is so much influence on
kids today to undermine the authority and more importantly respect of
parents,  that it is more difficult for kids today than when we were kids I
think. Perhaps it is all proportionate, but seems so on this end of the
relationship. As parent, I've always leaned on not only disciplines, but
fostering responsibility for their actions, but also leaned on the basic
principle of "honor and trust  of blood ought never, never be sacrificed
for influence of others or self", because once that honor  and trust is
gone, what is left in that relationship? I don't believe that kids see it
that way naturally, I'm not sure I did as a kid, but I grew up without
parents that made that known to me either. I guess in a way I did follow
that out of not wanting to put my parents through more than they had with
my brother. I didn't have the heart at the time so was much, much better
than I probably would have liked to been at the time. But when my Dad
said... "come here son", I came. If my mother said "Go to your room and
think about what you just said", I went, I thought. It was a different day
I guess and perhaps to compensate the influences of kids today I've put the
family trust and honor on the line and if they wish to cross that, they
know full well that the heart of the relationship has been damaged
severely, it will hurt everyone involved.  That hurt would go much more
deeper than a discipline, more than a lecture, but cut to the heart
of  those involved.  I'm six foot, my son stands about a half inch shorter
than I, he weighs 180 plus at 17 years old, and even though I weigh 195
there is no doubt with his sports activity and working out at school, he is
in better shape than I. So once disciplines have done their job in growing
up, and still needing to render disciplines occasionally even at his age,
what then would stop him from trying to physically overtake his old man if
things ever got to a physical situation? I would hope it is that honor,
respect, and trust I instilled in him which we share as father/son. That
honor and trust is a two way street as well, and it is especially important
he know this as he grows from boy to man to father himself  in the coming
years. I will continue to pray for the situation, and for any and all
causes of it, be it a major one, or a culmination of many, to be revealed
and the knowledge, wisdom and understanding of how to rid them.

Brad