Brad I almost wrote privately but then I thought that might b otherS
wondering the same thing re all my stress, so here goes.
Hmmmm I thought it was going to go now I can't decide where to start.
As a young child I had several surgeries and procedures that were unpleasant
well I guess that's obvious grin. nOT LIFE DEVALUING JUST SCAREY FOR  A
PRESCHOOLER SURGERIES AND SPINAL TAPS, AND SUCH.
Here's the wierd thing
I blocked a lot of it out I just had this fear of dr.'s that no one
including myself could understand. aND I DON'T MEAN SMALL FEAR. mOST 5 AND 6
YEAR OLDS ARE AFRAID OF MONSTERS UNDER THE BED. i WAS AFRAID OF DR.'S HIDING
THERE WHO WOULD COME OUT AND HURT ME. But in my late teens I started having
flashbacks of those early experiences.
I ended up in therapy for it well and the abuse, and my current relationship
and...

Anyhow through working with this christian counselor I made a lot of
progress to the point that normal visits weren't a problem. i won't get in
to the way I learned to view my fears unless you r really bored and want to
hear it grin.
Having been handling things well for the past several years with one
exeption involving surgery a couple years ago, which wasn't even even this
stressful, makes this recent what's the word, regression even harder. I can
say a lot of things to try to make myself feel ok about this recent spacing
outk, gagging, and panic attack/nightmare period. I can tell myself that
I've been having bleeding for over a month and that's bound to be doing
things to my hormones. I can tell myself that I started to suspect in late
sept that I needed to change my depression meds and i jsut should've done it
sooner. Or I can tell myself what I have been saying "you must not've really
learned anything at all." "and what kind of christian r u if u can't even
trust God with the world's simplest procedure?"
Shelly

----- Original Message -----
From: "BD" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Monday, January 19, 2004 4:27 PM
Subject: Re: insanity


> Shelly,
>
> That is unfortunate. I wonder though, and please do not take this wrongly,
> but the threshold for traumatic experiences, is that a threshold so low
> that a normal visit might cause you to think of it as traumatic, or is it
> so high that indeed your life or quality of it, was threatened each time
> you visited? There are those that view the glass half full, and those that
> view it half empty, and then there are those who trim the rim of the glass
> to where they are at, and view the glass as completely full. That is, to
be
> content with where they are at in life or in a situation, and only work up
> from there, rebuilding the top rim as they go to insure a full glass is
> always in view. I wonder if going through such a procedure with no
> expectations of really good or really bad, but just go and complete it,
and
> then see if you are able to look at it differently afterwards? Fear has a
> way of feeding itself, to be afraid of being afraid, as was once said, the
> only thing to fear is fear itself. The things we imagine or project in a
> situation, most always, never happen.  These are just some thoughts that
> perhaps could help to look at. Above all prayer and trust in God to get us
> through our trials and things of life.
>
> Brad