Thanks, Lelia.  That is an interesting and unusual situation.  Smile.  I'm
sure the LORD will respect the intent of your heart.

Paul
----- Original Message -----
From: "lelia" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 5:39 PM
Subject: Re: good morning all.


> Paul, this is why I wrote to the list I knew I'd get some answers or felt
i
> would.  So I will reply to your email in maybe severeal parts lol.
>
> Here's the deal, when Todd and I first got together, we of course didn't
> know each other but after a while we begin living together now lets just
say
> we weren't doing the christ-like thing ouch!!!! I'm still convicted of
that
> one.  I know I have asked for forgiveness, Todd wasn't a christian at the
> time so ouch again holding my head down, I caused him to stumble.  ouch.
> Well, then I by the conviction of the Holy Spirit begin to walk with the
> Lord again, I begin to go to church not the one I attend now but I went to
a
> churc and invited Todd to go, while going to that church he got saved and
> baptized.  Then I got back in touch with my youth pastor and his family
and
> they rented us there three bedroom house, now I was verry happy with that
as
> I'd be able to have my own room, at the time we had a two bedroom house
and
> had another roommie besides Todd and I, but then our other roommie Arthur
> moved out so lo and behold the Lord gave me my own room again.  Good
choice
> yay.  I took it.  Now at that time Todd didn't understand and so I prayed
> about it.  Then we got this three bedroom house, and I was doing great
with
> my own big room with my own little bed smiling until January well, now as
I
> said its getting hard and now as I said I know why we should not live
> together.  But I must say that through God alone and I truly mean this as
> God is my witness He has kept me from that temptation, after watching
> football together in his rom and me being tempted again I stopped that and
> wooooohoo I also found and was able to show Todd in the bible where it
says
> that we should keep the marriage bed pure.  So, no unfortunately its my
> fault not his he is still a new christian growing in his walk.  I am the
> mature one of the two or should be ouch again.  I tell you all this
because
> I need your support and prayers and always honesty.  Trust me I'm
convicted.
>
> Lelia
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Ariel" <[log in to unmask]>
> To: <[log in to unmask]>
> Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 6:17 AM
> Subject: Re: good morning all.
>
>
> > Hey, Lelia
> >
> > I wasn't offended by your note and hope you're not offended by my reply.
> I
> > don't understand whether you and Todd are in a house or a hotel or what.
> If
> > you are in a house with other people, such as staying over his parents
> house
> > and there is some pressure not to get out of line it's understandable to
> > stay in the house but in different rooms of course.  And if you are
> staying
> > in a hotel where accountability is easier, that's the same deal.  But
you
> > should never stay in the same house alone and without some kind of
> pressure
> > not to misbehave.  Just my opinion but it is just too tempting
especially
> > with the wedding so close.  The greatest gift humanity has is to justify
> > itself in anything it wants to do, and you will eventually justify
> sleeping
> > together before marriage if this continues.  Also, I know I'm old
> fashioned
> > (and just plain old to hear Kerri say it) but keeping this sort of thing
> > from happening is more Todd's responsibility than yours as the spiritual
> > leader of the home.  He is to ensure not only that nothing happens
before
> > the wedding but that there isn't even the appearance that anything
> untoward
> > is happening.
> >
> > Joni Eareckson Tada and her husband Ken were advised even by Christian
> > friends that because of her disability they should have sex before the
> > wedding to make sure they could handle whatever it involved or didn't
> > involve.  But they refused, rightly, saying that they could not as
> > Christians do what would dishonor CHRIST even if it were for a reason
that
> > seemed right at the time.  The fact is, you're almost married but not
> > married yet, and right up until the vows are spoken there is the
> possibility
> > for the LORD or your common sense to change your mind (not to say that's
> the
> > case in your marriage).  Sex, in fact any sexual contact, clouds that
> > thinking and clogs your ears to the LORD because your hormones are
> roaring.
> >
> > As a man I'd like to think I could just "snuggle" and keep sex out of it
> but
> > it's not worth the risk and the guilt and, again, the possibility of
> > misunderstanding some message of something that needs to be straightened
> out
> > before the wedding if you're sexually involved.  It's no different than
a
> > man who has been out in the desert suddenly gulping a large amount of
> water
> > when he's rescued.  It will hurt him.  He needs to only get the right
> amount
> > and at the right time, for his own good.  Tasting before marriage what
is
> > meant only for marriage is deadly and will taint any testimony you have
to
> > future couples who will simply have to get engaged to have sex without
> > responsibility in that thinking.
> >
> > So, praying for you, of course, but make sure you and Todd are doing
> > everything possible to keep yourself accountable and out of trouble or
> > simply praying won't work.  The temptation to lay on hands in prayer is
> just
> > too strong.  Smile.
> >
> > Lion who has been there
> >