Phil,

I didn't know you were that keen to "keep" or is it "get rid" of us all!


--
Carol



----- Original Message -----
From: "Phil Scovell" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, December 23, 2003 3:41 AM
Subject: How To Unsubscribe From Echurch-USA


> I picked this up on another list.  Author is unknown but it sure is funny.
>
> People are all the time asking how to unsubscribe from an email
> list so here's how.  To unsubscribe from this service you must
> first purchase a Craft-O-  Matic Adjustable Subscription
> Cancellation Unit. The unit can be  obtained from most hardware
> stores and dental clinics. Be sure to  obtain the proper permits
> to operate the unit from the Nuclear  Regulatory Commission and
> the Food and Drug Administration in  Washington D.C. USA.  Be
> sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component in its
> accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing DF4 mesinator on
> top  of the perforated Gerring Mach 77 refibulator and attach them
> using the  eight-millimeter torque fork. Be sure that the
> refibulator is mounted  at a 66 degree angle and properly
> dispersed so that it is flush with  the curved section of the
> Pyrex thistle tube. Place the four sections  of the triangular
> separation gear into the posture cylinder and lock  them into
> place using the band aid adhesive strip. Insert the wiggling  pin
> into the wobbling hole, making sure that it seated correctly.
> Place  the D cell battery and the eleven 9 volt batteries in the
> power  chamber.  The device should be calibrated before operation
> using the optional  digital corkscrew accessory pack prior to
> operation. Insert the digital  corkscrew through the electronic
> combustion service chamber using  caution not to touch the
> reinforced tungsten igniter control module and  quickly turn the
> invertor drive to 28.6 degrees. Turn the Craft-O-Matic
> Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit upside down and hit the
> bottom  plate with a 48-ounce ball-peen hammer while shaking the
> unit  vigorously. Force open the door to the incineration valve
> compartment  and set the pressure gauge to 719 psi. Close the door
> and seal it shut  with duct tape. The unit should now be properly
> calibrated and ready to  use.Before activating the Craft-O-Matic
> Adjustable Subscription  Cancellation Unit, you must first elevate
> it to a height of 229 feet  above sea level to insure that the
> unit receives the proper oxygen  level and barometric pressure.
> Point the aerial to 17 degrees north by  northeast to within the
> parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather  satellite and apply
> pressure to the wing shaft on the southern most  section of the
> modular accelerator. Using the special ratchet adapter  supplied
> with the unit, rotate the heater core to the "on" position.The
> "on" position has been obtained when the green light begins to
> flash, signifying that the red light is about to go off. Once the
> red  light is off, flip the toggle switch labeled "ON/OFF" to the
> "ON"  position and count to 47 before logging on to the
> system.Logon using your username and password and wait for the
> prompt. Once  prompted you must check the box with the appropriate
> action you wish to  take and then press the pressure release
> button and turn off the  compressor while turning the hand crank
> at 231 meters per minute. Next,  press control, alt, delete, caps
> lock, shift, number lock, escape and  tab simultaneously. Press
> enter.You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you
> fail to  respond in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a new
> Craft-O-Matic  Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit and start
> from the beginning.  Please remember that this is the only way we
> will accept for you to  unsubscribe from this service. We have
> made every attempt to simplify  the procedure for your
> convenience. Failure to comply with the  unsubscribe policy will
> result in immediate termination of your  subscription so please
> follow the above directions closely.
>