I feel convicted after reading Kathy's message to confess that I did some
back peddling after saying Christa shouldn't be driving Rhonda alone and
that there should be some other means to do it but then going back on that.
I said "the end doesn't justify the means" but backed off when I sensed Brad
was saying I was being "holier than thou" (though he didn't say that in so
many words).  Although I do think there needs to be justice with compassion,
and I hope that would be applied if the situation with Rhonda and Christa
ever came to light, I should have (like Kathy) encouraged Rhonda to find
another way rather than to encourage her to keep on this same track.  This
latest incident shows the very lack of judgment which has youngsters like
Christa unable to drive alone without someone licensed alongside to help
make critical decisions in a crisis.

I don't have the answers, other than suggesting again as I did before and as
Kathy repeated about talking to agencies and the hospital chaplain and local
churches.  David seems to do some things that are wrong but he does them
anyway to get out of tough situations in the Bible.  I can't explain all of
that.  But I do know that until we're sure there are absolutely no other
ways to do it (and we know now there is paratransit and possibly other ways
the chaplain and other services may know about), Christa shouldn't be
driving without another driver in the car.

Thanks to Kathy for confronting me about it.

Paul
----- Original Message -----
From: "Kathy Du Bois" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, December 21, 2003 3:36 PM
Subject: Re: parent question


> Rhonda,
> I just have to tell you, as a friend, that I'm having a problem with
> Krista even driving you to the hospital with only a drivers permit!  I'm
> sorry, and I suppose that some on this list will judge me as hard nosed,
> but I just believe that she shouldn't even be doing that!  Especially,
> now that you've told us that you do have another way to get there, but it
> just isn't as convenient.  What have you taught your daughter about
> respect for rules and authority?  I can understand why she might be
> confused about using the car for you, but not for her interests.  I just
> hope that she doesn't turn what she is learning back on you and begin
> disrespecting your authority and judgment as well, especially with
> relationships.  She needs you to be level headed now more than ever!    I
> know that others on this list have given you a pass on this issue because
> we all understand that you want to be with your husband at this time, but
> it is in the hard times that we build character and it is as our
> character is being formed that our children are watching.  I'll get off
> my soap box now, but please re-think this whole thing!  Please!  Have you
> talked to the hospital chaplain yet or the salvation army? Have you found
> out more about other churches in your area?
> Kathy
>
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